Touching Hope Without Fingers

Her Story

This story may be short but this is my story and I wish to share it with you. For those who feel like giving up or drowning in depression or are feeling that there is no hope for you...

It all started the day I went to work at a local gas station. I was 26 years old, in a relationship and had two lovely children. Work was an uneventful day at work, however, a football match was being aired with Jamaica facing off against another team. I was focusing on my duty and, every time I squeezed the handle of the gas pump, my fingers grew tighter, as if they were tied by strings that cut the blood circulation from my fingers. I cringed as I felt pain in my hands, it wasn't unbearable but enough to keep me from doing my work.

Feeling concerned for my well-being, my supervisor advised that I should take the day off to check on my fingers. I followed his advice, went to the clinic and waited in the lobby for my name to be called. Once my name was called, I followed the direction that I was instructed to go and walked into the room where I was alone with the Doctor, I gave my greeting, she greeted me back. She asked me what the issue was and feeling dismayed I explained my situation.

Doctor pondered, did a blood test and came to the conclusion that I had arthritis in my hands. I felt sad, a sense of fear grasped my heart and yet I hoped because if anyone could the doctors will help me. The doctors in the clinic recommended me and signed me up for the treatment and did as they instructed me.

I started the treatment multiple times, two to three times, I remember. However, despite my treatment, I can feel that I wasn't making any progress or my fingers were getting any better. I was still in pain, unable to move them and unable to help myself. I went back the fourth time and in a state of despondent, I told them I feel the finger getting tighter. I didn't know what was happening, I faulted the medication as the more I took it, the worse it got.

As a concerned and worried patient, I instructed the Nurse to do another examination on my fingers. "Are you the doctor or am I the doctor?"was her response. I was at a loss for words, for the first time I've been exposed to such a behaviour, especially from someone who should have given me top priority. She grumpily left, gave me a prescription and Instructed me to get medication before she rudely sent me away.

In a state of disbelief and suffering from pain, I left without arguing. I had to ask for help so that I could buy my pills. Nearby even the pharmacist was puzzled at my unnatural movement, the pained expression on my face but she didn't say a word. When I managed to give her the prescription, she walked away and returned minutes later with my pills. I drove back home in a taxi, my spouse was there, expecting my return. I told him what happened to me, he offered his words to me in return, reassuring me that the pills will help in alleviating my pain.

I went to take a bath, went to bed and during my slumber, I was abruptly woken up by the unbearable pain in my fingers, more intense that never before. My fingers turned physically black, paralyzed and I was unable to move them. I was in a deep state on panic, distraught and I cried, suppressing the urge to scream in pain.

My spouse panicked as well, and he did the only thing that he knew that would help me. He warmed salted water to help ease the pain but his remedy was ineffective. I was still feeling excruciating pain in my hands, my fingers were still black as charcoal and numb to movement. I cried my eyes out, suppressing the urge to scream as my fingers throbbed in pain.

My spouse rushed me to the hospital as fast as he could, he too was as worried as I am. Once we arrived, he brought me into the hospital and called the nurse to aid me quickly. The nurses placed me in an unoccupied room where they gave me medical treatment and performed countless examinations. They strung me to an IV pole, gave me anaesthesia to help me alleviate the pain and I watched them scuffled around as I cried.