雨に降られて ぬかるんだ道でも いつかはまた 晴れる日が来るから -Hibari Misora
It is early morning in an Izakaya on the outskirts of Tokyo. The owner is cleaning the counter and finds a handwritten note, below is the translation:
...I realized I have lived my life miserably. I spat in the face of everything I was given. My life had so much beauty but I had such a bad disposition. I reflect on the negativity I had, every time I had an opportunity to be joyous and I did not take it. Life is precious, and divine, and short.
I have lived as so many people. I have been a different person to everyone who knew me. To many I played the complainer, the beggar, or the unsatisfied. I found no joy in life and I spread no joy to others. I have been given so many gifts, a woman who loved me, and a son, whom I did not spend enough time with or appreciate. But all of that has already happened. Now, in this moment, all I have left are my thoughts and this piece of paper on which I write.
Previously, I would find negativity in anything. I would complain of my family, or the lateness of my bus, or how boring my job was. But then I learned that my disease was incurable. I understood that with only a short time to live there was no reason to be upset about my lot. But how little I knew before! I was dying this entire time yet I squandered what small time I had for purposeless complaint. I was so foolish.
But in this moment, I see the beauty in it all. I see how the wood of the table came from trees which grew over many years, fed by the rivers and our breath in the air. I see the magnificence in which every piece of life comes together. I see my ancestors smiling, and I see my spirit, and I envisioned my whole life laid out before me. I saw the times I chose to be upset when I could have been happy. Only now, as it all crumbles around me, I see the synergy and complexity and synchronicity of our world.
Silent tears fall down my face. But not tears of sadness, tears of joy. My life is coming to an end but now I have experienced true unbridled happiness. The joy which I feel is inexplainable, these words I write cannot describe. I no longer regret my mistakes, I no longer have any complaint for this world. The ancient Shinto priests believed that every person in this world feels the same amount of joy and sadness. Now, in a life when I found sadness in everything, I have found a reason to be joyful beyond explanation. It is with this thought that I will die content...
