I know it's hard for everyone sometimes
But it feels like everyday is a battle
Sometimes I lose sometimes I win
But the darkness never showed
It always stayed inside
Never to be let out
I know it's stupid but the blade feels nice
I know the red pouring from my arms
Isn't good and to much will kill me
What if I want it to?
What if I want to scream
Especially at the person in the mirror
But my friends find out and start asking questions i don't answer them write away I leave them on read
After a week or two I text then back saying everything is fine and they where just seeing things
I know lieing us wrong but if they knew why they wud ask me more and more questions but I can barely hear them
So why do I do it why don't I just leave them on read and never text back why don't I go deeper into the vain?
Maybe I want to live maybe I don't I can't tell anymore people look at me in public and I can see there disgust
When I wear a t shirt I see they way they look at me I feel the eyes I'm human two so after a month or two I stay inside
The blanket feeling like they are being wade down by 45 pound dumbells they get heavier and heavier by the hour
Finally my mom comes in and nags at me to get up but all I can do is stair at her like she's not there
That angers her even more she starts yelling and asking me the same question over and over again "why can't u get up?"
After all I have limbs and I'm perfectly healthy so why can't I? I don't answer her all I do is look at her with tears in my eyes
I muster up the stangth to say I didn't know but that wasn't good enough so she yells more and more
Eventually it takes over I'm once again a zombie with a human disguise waiting for the next time to rest
But that zombie still can smile sometimes still will laugh and make jokes but they can't see past next month
School and home are both equally as exhausting but one of them I can take a nap the tiger is like a prison that can't be exaped
I hope that one day I'll be able to see the light but for now I just wanna sit down and cry but no tears will come out
So the darkness wins again
