The Taste of Solitude| Nakamoto Yuta Oneshots

You Tear Me Apart (Look How Selfish You Are)

Title from: Promise by Jann

4k words, 3rd Person from Yuta's POV

Summary:

"Yuta, can you hand me your phone?"

"Again?"

"Yeah, it's bad today."

"When is it not?" Yuta offers, handing over the device anyway and walking off to get his burner.

Alternatively: Yuta's "Bad Days" online throughout the era's

Warnings: Light to Moderate Angst, Nakamoto Yuta-centric, Hate Comments, Derogatory Language, Bullying, Insecurity, Body Shaming (face & weight), it's about the online yuta hate

STORY BEGIN:

Kick It.

It was a bad day.

But when was it not?

"Hey, Yuta. I need your phone." Taeyong says. The small sympathetic smile on his face is so familiar.

"Again?" Yuta sighs, handing it over nonetheless.

"Yeah. It will get better soon."

But, as Yuta passes over his phone for the—what? Tenth time this month? He can't help but wonder if Taeyong is right at all.

It seemed like every day was a bad day. At some point, they began to blur together. Another day of being told not to check social media, but then it got even worse, and suddenly it was just "hand over your phone," because nobody wanted him to even have an opportunity to check.

The thing is, it's always something different.

He's ugly, untalented, rude, undeserving, lazy, mean, clingy, fake, vulgar, and stuck-up; he hates his members. He can never win.

That's what stung—that it was never the same thing. He could take it, maybe if it was a specific thing about him that they always attacked, but it was everything.

Something inside of him questions if he'll make it in NCT, or if the company will decide that it's more trouble than it's worth to keep around a member who only seems to be spoken about when someone is complaining.

It's not like he's done anything wrong . He can't ever think of why he would be so hated, especially among people who considered themselves fans of NCT 127. Why did they dislike him so much, but like the other members?

He could never figure out the answer.

Maybe it was just him. Maybe that's why it hurt so much.

It was the concept that, regardless of what he did, it seemed like he couldn't fully win.

-

Limitless.

The first time it happens is after he gets a touch-up on his chin fillers. He'd gotten them done predebut out of pressure from SM, and when he'd asked why, they'd told him he didn't fit the Korean Beauty Standards.

"I'm Japanese." He supplied, when his manager told him about the surgery.

The man snapped and yelled at him, "Do you want all the people in this country to think you're fucking ugly?"

"No. I guess not." Yuta replied, and then he went to his room and stared at his face. He supposed he didn't fit the beauty standards, not like Taeyong did. His jaw was longer and squarer, and he didn't look Korean at all—which, if they wanted someone who did , why did they choose him?