Trauma Poetry

I'm obsessed, always and forever.

On July 1st 2022, I told myself "I am always going to be obsessed with you„

Before it was because I loved you.

I thought about you always.

I couldn't get your fucking name out of my head.

Olivia. Liv. Livy. Ollie. Olive. My Girl. My other half.

I gave them all to you, all your nicknames.

I couldn't get them out of my head.

Your laugh, your smile, your fucking eyes.

YOUR FUCKING DEEP BROWN EYES.

January 27th, 2024, 11:01 pm, I'm still obsessed with you.

But now it's because I hate you.

I keep imagining scenarios where I hurt you,

Lately I've been noticing that when I'm at my locker, you stand at yours and leave when I do.

Yesterday you spoke to me twice.

The first time since November.

So I keep imagining before I go to sleep, you ask me to be friends again, but then I screen at you.

I tell you all the things I think about you, everything I hate about you.

You're voice annoys me so fucking much.

You fucking ruined my life.

I make you feel the pain you made me feel.

I still can't stop thinking about you.

It's not because I love you, it's because I hate you.

But either way,

I can't stop thinking about you.

I was right, 575 days ago.

I will always be obsessed with you.

Just the reason will change.