𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝑰𝒏 𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉 (𝘈𝘜)

Why is it so difficult? What did I do so wrong?

Picture this... Sitting alone in a pitch-black room, a young man is wallowing in loneliness, slowly dying on his own, grappling with his unsettling thoughts. Lost in regret and sorrow, only the sounds from the abandoned building where he lives are heard. The annoying echo of trickling water from a faucet that never completely shuts off no matter how tight you tighten it. So subtle, but loud. The only escape is the soothing sound of music playing through the man's headphones.

With his whiskey in hand, the devastated man peers around the nearly empty but disorganized room with his tear-filled cocoa-colored eyes. He felt like he was starting to go insane, as if he thought that the man he missed so much was merely an illusion. Like a daydream with a bad ending, but he couldn't be; there were memories he couldn't make up nor begin to erase with his missing love. The nostalgia grows as he looks around the empty warehouse. He could see his lover's face radiating brilliantly while speaking with excitement and bliss about music and his time in school, and as he sat his whiskey down on the old kitchen counter, he reminisced about his memory with a half-hearted smile as a single tear fell down his cheek.

"Mingi!" Suddenly his name is shouted, being pulled away from and startled out of his memories of his short life, happily ever after, by a smooth, deep voice he missed. He turns to face this beautiful man, with his sandy blonde hair and puppy dog eyes, just standing in the corridor holding a suitcase tight while looking at him with a saddened expression. He turns and walks away with no goodbye. Just a final nod before vanishing into thin air. He is gone, and it is all my fault, was all Mingi could think as his tears rained in the palms of his hands.

It seems like just yesterday, a group of young men with a dream had a chance of a glorious future. In reality, it has been five years since they bought the warehouse, where he stands, careless and free. Futures are paved in gold for a band that had hope for fame. Kids with nothing to lose. Who would have guessed the tragedy that would befall them? No one had to worry in the world that life was perfect, but the dream was short lived, the fame never came, the gold never struck, and their lives never changed for the better. Sometimes a dream just remains exactly what it is. It's a miracle. It lasted as long as it did, just a bunch of foolish entitled kids running off of caffeine and a scheme. They had the talent and the means, but they lacked the supervision. They thought they could conquer the world on their own. The insecurities are a hell of a thing, and ego is an even bigger monster to tame and being gay in Korea wasn't accepted; being famous at that would be the hardest part, so love would be neglected in this case, and it certainly was. Pride was more important to Mingi than the one person who needed him the most.