I wonder if I'll ever be able to share this to anyone, I wish I can someday. Straight to the point I wanna die. Nothing feels right, I can't help myself, even after every I do, even after I try as hard as I can I can't seem to fill the void, I sketch, I sing, i hug my pillow, i go out, still no matter what i do i cant feel okay. And the part which hurts the most is that fact that no one not even a single person will ever know how I feel right now.
I even tried, I tried to tell people infact I begged for help still no one knows, still how can I blame anyone, why would i matter, why should i exist, whats my purpose. It seems that i only exist to bother people, they won't like me even with all of my sweet side with mr everything i do just so we could spend time together, every friend i had, every relationship i stayed in, i dont think i ever did anything wrong for them to act this way at the end. I just wish for some attention some love? Maybe I am dumb maybe i was just delusional or maybe I wasn't enough but I swear on my life I did everything I could. I wish I was understood I admit I am dumb and really sensitive just all I wished was for some of your time, for some attention and reassurance.
I feel like ripping my body apart hoping it will take this physically pain away, I want to burn my body alive I wish I feel the actual pain if that would make this weird pain go away. It's not my muscles, not my bone, not my brain, I don't know where it hurts but I can still feel it. So deep so full of pain screaming at me, I wish to die, I wish to die not in a peaceful way.
