Oneshots

Even At Your Worst

"Did you make all this yourself?"

"Well, not technically, but I did work very closely with upstairs on them."

He smiled, and the angel opposite him smiled back, clearly also sharing his enthusiasm for His creation. The stars, the planets, the nebulae.. they were His creation, but also his. He helped build some of the nebulae, in fact. They were his pride and joy, and he loved them almost like a mother would their children.

"So.. what's it for?"

Raphael turned. "What?"

"What does all this.. do, exactly?"

He smiled. This was his area of expertise. "Well, what doesn't this beauty do? Basically, it's a star factory. All of the stars you see now are pre-aged, but these," he pointed to a small cloud of interstellar dust, "are only starting out. Give it a few million years, and there'll be stars everywhere!"

The other angel, who'd previously introduced himself as Aziraphale, nodded. "Ah, right." He seemed to pause for a second, and then said, in a slightly hesitant tone, "You do know they're going to be shutting all this down in about.. 6,000 years?"

Raphael froze. He turned and stared at Aziraphale, an incredulous look on his face.

Aziraphale continued, "Yes, well, you see, there's going to be a planet called Earth, and in it are the Peo-ple—" he emphasized the pronunciation of the word "—that we're currently designing. So, all this..." he trailed off, gesturing vaguely at the clouds of galactic mass.

Raphael nodded. "Er, call them a nebula."

"Ah, yes. Well, these nebula, they're here so that the People on Earth can look out into the night sky, and marvel at the illimitable vastness of the Almighty's creation."

Raphael waited for Aziraphale to continue, but nothing else came.

"So, what, all of these are just.. put here to twinkle?"

Aziraphale shrugged. "Sort of."

"But that's idiocy!"

Aziraphale looked alarmed at his choice of words, but Raphael was unfazed. "You can't create all of this if you're going to just let it run for a few thousand years!" he exclaimed. "The engine won't even have properly warmed up by then."

Next to him, Aziraphale's eyes darted anxiously between Raphael and the sky — whatever was above them, anyway — as if within moments someone is going to overhear their conversation and report Raphael to the higher authorities. In Heaven, questioning God was a serious sin. And they don't take kindly to sinning.

"You can't just say that," he said quietly.

"Why not? Someone had to tell Him this was a really terrible idea."

Aziraphale shut his eyes in desperation, before turning to Raphael with a rather pleading look on his face. "Look, word to the wise, don't let the other angels overhear you. I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble."

Raphael nodded. "Yeah, thanks. Appreciate that. But I mean, how much trouble can I get into just by asking a few questions?"

Aziraphale's face softened slightly, and he looked out over the newly created universe. The stars were shining, planets were forming, and Earth was just a tiny little dot somewhere on this giant cosmic canvas. He had a point. Really, how much trouble could he get into?

Meteorites began raining down around them, and Raphael lifted a wing to shield Aziraphale from them. A single meteor bounced off his wing. It didn't hurt, but it did help him gain a new sense of admiration for the universe.