diamonds in the sun

i found heaven in the parking lot of an all-american burger

I needed a moment of silence after the last bit of breath I had stored up for myself was so easily drawn right out of my body. I clutched my chest in sheer panic. 

"Chey, you can't be serious." My friend, Cassandra, looked at me in disbelief. 

"Oh I'm serious." I said, nodding profusely. 

"Why won't you just talk to him?" She asked, redirecting her attention to touching up her makeup. 

"He's too popular for me." 

"Was. He was popular. We're not in college anymore, babe. We're hot, young, college grads." 

"Easy for you to say," I said, examining her  "my body has yet to take the hint." 

"You just need some confidence, and that'll come by just talking to him." 

"No, no way. I can't do that."

"You can and you will." She smiled. 

She rolled down the window, "Hey Cory!" She shouted out the window. 

Him and his friends redirected their attention to us. 

"Cassandra, hey!" He said. 

"Have you met my friend, ?" She shouted. 

I wanted to die. I wanted to die. I had tried to curl up in my seat, becoming so small that he hopefully wouldn't even notice me. 

"No, I don't think I have! Why don't you guys come join us?" He asked. 

"Yeah, sure, save us a seat!" She shouted, rolling up the window. 

"See that wasn't so hard." She said to me. 

"You're the actual devil." I said, practically shaking in my seat. 

"Maybe," She shrugged "now come on you've got to talk to him." 

She handed me her tube of lipstick and I reluctantly dabbed it on my lips. My eyes were so sunken in that the fact I put on some eyeshadow and mascara got lost in the shadows that were my dark circles. I looked like the crypt keeper's daughter, but there was literally nothing I could do about it right now. Cassandra had this natural glow to her, and she walked with such purpose. Everyone just gravitated towards her. I was just her off-putting best friend. I drew in a deep breath and exited the car. 

This was happening whether I liked it or not, so I had better suck it up. I slinked beside Cassandra as she practically floated into the joint like the goddess she was. Even I was enamored with her more than half the time. 

"Hey guys." She said, in a sing-song voice, taking a seat at their booth. 

I slid in next to her and sheepishly waved at everyone. They flashed their perfectly pearly white smiles at me and I became hyper aware of myself. Cassandra and Cory were talking like old friends, catching up, and I felt so out of place. I kept my eyes focused on the patterns of the black and white tile flooring, trying to disappear. 

"So, Cheyenne--" Cory started to say 

"Chey" I intervened, embarrassed. 

"Chey," He smiled "what kind of music do you like?"

"Um,  New Order, Duran Duran, Echo & the Bunnymen, Joni Mitchell...to name a few. What about you?" I said, barely making eye contact. 

"I love Joni Mitchell--I like The Psychedelic Furs, DEVO, and the Talking Heads." He smiled. 

"Wow, I did not expect that." I said, really looking at him now. 

He looked like a model with his sandy blonde hair and perfect teeth.