Nick Sturniolo One Shots

I'm So Tired - Nick

Plot: Nick is suffering from depression and his brothers almost lose him.

MAJOR TW: cursing, homophobia, SH, blood, eating disorders, su!cide attempt

Nick's POV:

I woke up. Again. I used to think that I honestly just wanted to give up and not get out of bed, but I was the oldest triplet, you know? I gotta keep the kids intact, but today was the day. I'm giving up. I sat up, taking one last minute to just relax before going downstairs. I got up and immediately felt dizzy, almost falling over but thankfully only falling back onto my bed. I hadn't been eating for a few weeks, well, I had but I need to lose weight because the comments under our videos are just awful. 

"Ugh, I'm glad Nick is gay. No girl in her right mind would ever consider dating him. Not even a GUY would lmao."  1,273 likes

"Matt and Chris HATE Nick and it is showing through 😂"  1,134 likes

"If only Nick just got rid of himself. Not being on the channel would be great but being gone from life would be awesome."  1,154 likes.

Majority vote, I guess. The comments are awful but clearly to some people they aren't. It's probably just me. I'm the problem, right? Oh well, not much you can do about haters, especially when they're right, and so I went downstairs.

Matt's POV:

It was 10:30. 10:30 and Nick was just nowhere. "MATT! Earth to Matt?!" Chris was practically yelling at me. "Sorry, what?" I asked, I had completely spaced out worrying about Nick. It was clear that something was eating away at Nick, he had been sleeping in a lot, being less energetic than in our past videos, he just- fuck. It sounds ridiculous, everyone fucking sleeps. It just feels different. "You look so worried, are you okay?" Chris asked me. "I- uh, there's just a lot of work to do, you know? A lot to keep up with with our fans." I lied. Chris worries a lot. If he saw a duck sitting under a table in the rain, he would fixate on that duck for hours just to make it okay. "It's okay, Matt. Our fans are good people, they understand that we're all human, we take our time." Chris said to me. Even though I lied, he still managed to soothe me as if I didn't. Chris hugged me and we got back to eating our breakfast.

10:36 and Nick finally came downstairs. "Hey guys!" Nick said merrily. "Hi Nick!" I said with a smile. He sat down at the table and just started talking to me and Chris about watching a movie later, completely ignoring the food right in front of him. I guess Chris noticed, as he said "Nick, aren't you gonna eat, bud?" Nick looked extremely uncomfortable, "Um, I kinda just brushed my teeth so, I mean, the food won't taste that good." Nick said. It was so clearly a lie. He was scratching at the same spot on his hand that he always does, picking away the scab that formed there. Even Chris looked suspicious looking concerned at me. But then Nick excused himself from the table, saying he needed to use the restroom.

Nick's POV:

I can't believe this. I guess Chris started noticing my gross body, too. Matt as well, he just stared at me in disbelief when I didn't eat. I'm just that fat, I guess. I pulled out my razor and placed it on my wrist. I looked up at the mirror. Who even am I? I'm so gross, no wonder I have no boyfriend. 

+1 cut: for being fat

+1 cut: for being the least favorite triplet

+2 cuts for being gay because people don't like that

+1 cut for  making Chris and Matt deal with me

+3 cuts for being the gross person I am.

8 cuts total. It hurt like a motherfucker, but I wrapped it up anyways. I was going to leave the bathroom but there was a shit ton of blood around me, and I don't handle blood the best. I turned on the sink so no one would hear me and immediately vomited in the toilet. I was so dizzy, but I got up to clean the blood and then walked out of the bathroom.

"Nick, you alright?" Matt asked me. No I just cut myself eight times and threw up because of the surrounding blood  "Yeah, why?" I asked. "You were in the bathroom for hours, kid. It's okay, we were just wondering if you were ready to make a car video?" Matt said, obviously concerned. Car video? We film those at- holy shit. It's 5pm?! How long was I in the bathroom for?! "Um, yeah, sorry about that." I said, my voice cracking as I said it. Matt and Chris missed no opportunity to make fun of the voice crack. I laughed with them, I didn't want them to be any more concerned than they already were.

After the car video, it was really late. We all got home and went to bed, or at least to be on our phones so we could fall asleep. I got to my room and just cried. I wasted so much time. I'm closer to losing them because I'm such a fucking weakling. I can't do this anymore. I got up, heading towards my bathroom. I got the sharpest blade I had and lifted my shirt. Wait, I need notes. I stayed up for another 10 minutes writing a letter to my family and friends, basically saying that all the hate comments I was getting were hurting me, but it was NEVER my family's or my friend's fault. That was it. I sobbed as I walked to my bathroom once again, lifting my shirt. I was going to miss the world, but the world wouldn't miss me. And with that I cut open my stomach and my wrists.

FIRST CHAPTER! Sorry it was kinda short, lmk what you guys thought, requests are ALWAYS welcome. I'm working on a part two, might not get finished tonight though because my device is almost dead (8%). I love you, pookies!

Words: 1015