Torn Between Two » Tronnor/Troyler

This is just the beginning.

Troye sighed, his tear stained cheeks glistening from the light given off by the camera. He took a deep breath, and began.
"I don't know if you know who you are, till you loose who you are. When I was with them, I felt like, I knew who they were, I knew them, and I knew their hearts and what they wouldn't do to hurt me. How can the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? By one thing, by one thing so stupid, I fell in love. And the crazy thing is, I don't know if I will ever feel that way again. But then, you make me feel crazy. You make me feel like it's my fault. Maybe he knew that when he saw me, but I didn't realize feeling so great about myself, and feeling so confident, that it could be shattered. I guess I just lost my balance. I was in pain.
I think the worst part of it all wasn't loosing them.
It was loosing me.
Goodbye, Internet." ((Btw creds to whoever made that audio. I kinda changed it around))
*flashback*
"Hello there everybody! Today I am joined with the one, the only, Troye Sivan!" Tyler said, smiling ear to ear.
"hello everybody!" I said back to the camera, attempting to do my best impression of Tilly. (I call Tyler Tilly sometimes, because I thought it was a cute nickname for him.)
Of course I failed, getting a laugh out of him.
Today I had decided to come over to Tyler's to record a video. I'm not sure exactly what we were, but I knew we were something. The fans of course had figured it out, yet we still denied it, and sometimes didn't.
I looked at Tyler as he rambled on, and smiled.
Could I even ask for more? Amazing friends, an amazing fandom, all these opportunities I had gotten to participate in.
Since it was Valentine's Day, and we were spending it together, we had decided to do a romantic pottery making video. Even though our pottery turned out looking like poo, it was still very fun to make.
After recording and cleaning up, I made my way to his couch, making myself comfortable with a spare blanket.
"Tilly? Will you make me some popcorn? Pleaseeee?" I whined.
Tyler groaned, as he put the pottery stuff back into the box.
"Fine. As long as you turn on the movie this time,"
"Agreed." I smiled, and looked back at the tv.
Tyler walked into the kitchen to make his popcorn.
Now when I say HIS popcorn it really is HIS popcorn. You can barely get one piece without him growling at you or something. It is really good though, since he makes it he old fashioned way.
I picked up the remote and turned on mean girls, since it had always been one of Tyler's favorites.
*ding!*
"My phone or yours?" Tyler yelled from the kitchen.
"Mine!" I yelled back, the tiny screen that sat on the coffee table was lit up.
It seemed like a long text message, so I grabbed the phone, and opened it up. Immediately seeing a text from Connor, which was weird, since his answers and texts were usually one word.
"Troye,
Please bare with me here...I know it's Valentine's Day, and you're probably spending it with Tyler, but I figured it would be good for me to get this out now before it ate me inside. Troye, I am in love with you. I am so in love with you and I cannot deny myself of that. I never wanted to believe it, but it's true. When I see you smile, or just hear your voice, he butterflies in my stomach flutter, my heart speeds up, and I get a happy feeling inside of me. I think you are so beautiful, inside and out, I want to be the one you love. I want to hold your hand and make videos with you and make it clear to the world that I love you. I don't expect you to reply back, but i just, I needed to get that out...so um...yeah..bye.."
I put the phone down. My head started pounding.
Connor likes me?
He could be joking,
I thought, he joked all the time, but never about serious stuff. Especially on Valentine's Day.
I felt my heart speed up, and my stomach got fluttery.
'You can't feel like that. You're with Tyler!' My mind screamed at me.
At the thought of Tyler's name, my heart sped also.
Is it possible I liked both of them?
"Are you okay?"
My thoughts were interrupted by Tyler's voice and the smell of popcorn.
"I will be." I forced a smile and nodded, making room for Tyler on the chair.
He sat down, and took some of the blanket.
I looked at the tv screen, and let my thoughts wander.
Because that night, I wasn't hungry for popcorn anymore.
I was hungry for something else.