symptoms and causes | satoru gojo x reader

chapter 13 | nightmare

author's note: not gonna lie, this chapter's gonna be quite angsty. hope the wait was worth it. i'm DYING to hear your reactions! let's dive in!! ♡

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"Are you going insane?"

Satoru's question cut through your spiraling thoughts.

You tore your gaze from the rain-streaked window, meeting his impossibly blue eyes. Only now you realized that the nervous gnawing of your fingernails had gone too far. You shoved your hands under your thighs.

"You look like you're about to face a firing squad," he continued.

"Aren't we?"

The words were dry, masking the acidic churn in your stomach.

He finally looked up from his desk, a mountain of half-graded essays teetering precariously. That infuriating smirk curled his lips. "We'll be fine. Trust me, we've got this."

"How can you stay so calm?"

"Drugs, sweetheart. It's the drugs," he said, his focus already back on the student essay covered in red-ink.

At least he was honest.

"Are you seriously grading papers at a time like this?"

"Had a sudden surge of responsibility. Might not last." He didn't even glance up. "Don't worry, it won't take long. Most of these will fail anyway." A thick red line slashed across the page, a brutal verdict. The next paper met a similar fate with a flick of his wrist. Poor students.

Your gaze dropped to his hands. They trembled, just slightly, but it was there.

You should ask him how he was. About the withdrawal, his last week on opioids, if the fear gnawed at him as it did you, if the thought of regret crossed his mind.

But you couldn't.

Yeah, you couldn't.

How selfish.

He was struggling and you could see it. Painfully clear. And yet, all you could focus on was your own pathetic fear. Weak. That was the word, echoing in your head.

The room felt suffocating.

It was the day of the ethics committee hearing.

The day your whole future could unravel.

You gnawed your nails to the quick, the taste of blood barely registering over the adrenaline pounding in your ears. The rain lashed the window, each drop a hammer blow against your composure. 

What would they ask? What would they accuse?

You were prepared. The research was meticulous, the data irrefutable. But this wasn't about cold facts. If the committee sensed even a whiff of impropriety, they'd tear it apart and use the shreds to bury you both. 

They'd target like a shark sensing blood.

And they wouldn't just attack the science—they'd attack him. You. Everyone.

The thought made you want to vomit.

Out the window, you spotted Geto and Higurama, making their way across the rain-drenched parking lot. Oh, right, there was something else you wanted to drown in the back of your mind. But now, the memory was back, embarrassingly clear as you saw Geto's face.

"Why did you say that?" you asked, turning to Satoru.

He blinked, momentarily distracted from his grading massacre. "What?"