I waltz out of the hair salon with my new haircut - the hottest low taper fade you'll ever see. It's a good thing I have a date with daisy in approximately 1 hour. God, how will she not fall for me?! I got this in the BAG. I run my hands through my hair with pride and- and...- WHAT. is that a BALD SPOT?! oh god! Daisy will SURELY notice this. I have to do something. How will she ever fall in love with me when I look like an old man? My Culver's date with her is so soon! How will I fix it in time?! Aha, I know Just the place to fix this. I run at Lightning Speed over to Drew's big ass mansion, getting there in about 2.472 seconds despite the salon being 15 minutes from his house. I'm just pretty fucking quick. I knock on drews door desperately. Luckily, he opens it. But not so luckily, he immediately gasps and faints. Is my hair... THAT bad..?
"DREW?" I shake him awake, and he opens his eyes.
"Jake what the FUCK happened to your hair?!"
"I-i- I don't know! I thought it looked hot! I have a date with daisy in ONE HOUR!"
"You're cooked dawg"
I always knew I could trust Drew. He's always on my side! We walk to his room, and then into his closet the size of 50 elephants. But I think 50 Zoeys is a more accurate representation. I sit down next to his fruity vanity and he pulls out a can with the label reading, "quaft and crispy lock growth!" Yeah, I knew Drew would have this stuff on hand. Heh... I guess you could say I'm just a genius! I feel cold liquid run through my hair and pray to god it's the spray and not Drew taking a quick piss
"WOAH!" Drew exclaims loudly.
I look in the mirror and my hair has grown SO TALL! I still have my sick low taper fade, but now I look a little like that silly branch guy from the trolls movie. But I heard people simp for him so hey that's a win win
"Err.. are you sure daisy will like my hair, Drew?"
"I'm sure. And when you get your chance to kiss her, just remember all the kissing practice we had and you'll be a pro"
"Ah, you're so right!"
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1 hours later, Jake is at Culver's
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I'm not quite sure why everyone's looking at my hair. Oh, that's right! It's because I look like a fucking hottie! I stand with pride as i see daisy walk in. She takes one look at me and her eyes widen. She looks so in love and happy! I wink at her and run my hands through my hair, flipping it. My lice flies all over the customers standing behind me. OH SHIT! infestation!
employees rush out of the back wearing gas masks and start spraying the area with bug spray, but it's not enough. My lice are already scurrying around and eating people! I Look back to see Daisy, but she must've ditched me. I see an empty wall instead of daisys bright, bouncing, beautiful face. I sigh to myself while the chaos behind me takes place. Heh... i guess I deserve it! :/
Well, at-least I always have Drew!
