I cast, it flies.
The water is still, calm as the absent breeze. The sky as grey as it could be. In this ocean of black, I search for it. Waiting to catch it.
The silence is strong, but keeps the voices quiet. And so I sit, waiting aimlessly in this void. Waiting to catch just a sliver. I reel back in. Nothing.
I cast again, watching it fly.
Just one bite, not even a bite, a tug, a nibble, just a shrivel of life. I must catch it. And once I do, I can finally return. But the silence, it's broken. The growing noise of flapping wings comes closer until a final halt in its movement. I turn. It's a seagull.
"What may you be catching this evening?"
"Something you wouldn't understand." I reel back.
I cast again, it flies.
"Oh but I do know, you search for it, without it, you're lost."
"Then you know why I must find it. It is the only thing that can push me forward." I reel back.
I cast again, it flies.
"You sit here, knowing it's not out there, and yet you continue to act."
"It's out there, I know it."
"And how long have you've been searching for this?"
"Years."
"My, what a staggering long time, I say you're quite the optimist."
"Your sarcastic words will not taint my mission, bird." I reel back.
I cast, it flies.
"Have you ever thought of what is not on the outside?"
"Humor me with your philosophy, it keeps me entertained." I reel back.
I cast, it flies.
"Then why are you here?"
Silent, like the air.
"I must, it's all I can do." I reel back.
I cast, it flies.
Its tapping feet makes their way to my front. Now I see it is a raven.
"You must let go, you cannot control everything."
"Why do you say a meaningless thing?"
"Because you know it's the truth. Out there isn't where you will find it."
"But without it... without my action, without me trying-"
"You cannot control everything, you must let go."
My line sits still in the deepest depths of the ocean. Still not a single bite.
"Have you grown to think you've been doing what you were searching for this whole time?"
"No, because what I want is out there, it has to be." I reel back.
I cast, it flies.
"Have you not seen that it was with you this whole time?"
"Your words shall not taint my vision." I reel back.
I cast, it flies.
"Have you not felt it from within? That without it, you wouldn't be here?"
"It is nothing but acting upon my mission, nothing more." I reel back.
I cast, it flies.
"Have you not see that you have had hope the moment you've made your way out into this darkened, empty abyss?"
I scream to the skies and throw my rod to the ocean, its fate now lies in what could be.
Silence creeps between I and the raven. But finally broken, it speaks.
"Have you not thought once that the hope you've been trying to catch, had been with you from the very start?"
"I...no, it's still out there, it's-"
"Silence, your rod is gone and now it is just us. You cannot chase what has always been with you."
"But...I can still find it..."
"It is not here, it has always been in you. That most minute spark in this black ocean. You do not need to catch it because you already are what you've been desperate to find."
"Hope...I need it. I cannot move without it."
"Move to the winds of your heart, not by the current of your thoughts."
"How do I know I have it...hope..."
"From when it first came to thought, you had already found it. It had been with you the entire time you've spent out here aimlessly."
"What if I fail? Make a mistake I shouldn't have made? The things I could've done better, the actions I could've prepared for, the words I could've thought before speaking?"
"Then you will always remain lost as you are now. But give in to yourself, actions, and words, and you shall become as strong as water. Because no matter what trials come your way, you will always remain pure."
"Hope...it is the most accomplishable, grueling thing."
"Then what is there to fear? You cannot run away forever."
The water eases from its blackened color to a gentler blue, the sun creeks through the clouds, inching slowly but surely onto my skin. We meet our silence again, but this time, a more comfortable one.
"My soul...it is lost."
"Then be lost, for what great discoveries were found through common routes?"
"Then I very much hope it comes to fruition."
"It will, the water from the rain always comes back to the ocean, no?"
Breathing more calm, I nod gently.
"The water knows that no matter change it goes through, through rain or mist, evaporation or condensation, it will always be water. You are water, you are always you, through any change that comes your way."
Its blackened body, now turning white, its beak turning smaller and narrow, and body growing smaller. A dove. I speak.
"That's all we can do, hope."
"Without it, we would be as lost as you were today. Return, live through hope, and you will never be fearful again."
The dove flies off, its white body blending into harsh light of the sun, I smile with acceptance and hope.
At last, I fly.
