You're doing good.

3

Seungmin is more observant than most people think.

Seungmin is well aware of the importance of near perfect behavior. He knows that he has to tone down his hand flaps and happy stomps because it could get him taken away. He knows that Minho works himself to the bone and still somehow makes time for Seungmin's homework and Hyunjin's speech therapy.

Minho thinks that Seungmin misses when he's crying into his arms at the dinner table well after Seungmin is supposed to be asleep. Minho thinks that Seungmin doesn't know that he's hasn't gotten paid in nearly two weeks because the job he's at has burnt him out. But Seungmin sees, and he observes, and he notices things about his hyung that he thinks his hyung doesn't even know.

He knows that Minho has struggled in school since the eighth grade but is too anxious to ask for any help. He also knows that all the adults in the vicinity couldn't care less about his struggles and lets him fend for himself. Minho doesn't know it, but Seungmin knows that his hyung is being treated badly by the people at school. He knows that Minho will lie about eating just so Hyunjin and Seungmin can eat as much as they need to.

And even if Minho doesn't see it, Seungmin does. His hyung needs a hyung too. Minho desperately needs someone who can give him his childhood back, someone who would take care of him and take all of his problems away. Minho is always so stressed and hurting and sad, but he's always such a great hyung. He's sweet and loving and he does everything he can for Hyunjin and Seungmin.

Minho also tries to keep the past a secret, but Seungmin is smart, and he knows more than anyone knows. He knows that mama and daddy were bad parents. They didn't care for their basic needs. They were drug addicts, and then they got taken away to go to adult timeout for a while. They got addicted and ruined their life, and Seungmin will probably never see them again. Minho has never told him any of this, but he doesn't have to.

Seungmin is ten, not dumb, nor blind or stupid. Maybe he shouldn't know these big kid things, but he does. Maybe people don't know that he's a bigger kid mentally than he is physically. Minho would hate to know that, and Seungmin won't tell him that he knows these things. Because Seungmin just wants his oldest brother happy and cared for. Seungmin wants to repay the four years of parenting he was unfairly thrown into. He needed Minho to know.

So Seungmin tries his best to be on his best behavior. He plays the role of his hyungs baby, and he loves making Minho smile and coo and giggle because Seungmin did something cute. He always cuddles with him and complies to kisses and begs to be carried just so his hyung can feel his love he has for him. It was the least he could do, wasn't it? To give the years of love that Minho had given him and giving it back? It was truly only fair on his part.

Despite what Minhos says, he deserves all the love in the world.

Minho isn't as okay as what he says either.

Minho hyung is jumpy and skittish. Minho hyung doesn't get too close to people because he's scared of them leaving. Minho hyung scratches himself when he's trying to calm down. Minho hyung can't physically look an adult in the eyes, because he has a hidden fear of not being enough, or not being seen or forgotten. Minho hyung can't properly communicate his feelings because he's so used to being shot down for doing so for so many years.

Minho hyung has a crush on a boy named Sungie, but he will never let him know that, because he thinks he doesn't deserve someone like that, that he doesn't deserve love.

Minho has never told him any of this, but he doesn't have to, because Seungmin watches, and he sees, and he observes. He knows way more than he lets on, and most importantly, Seungmin doesn't forget.

It's both a blessing, and a curse.

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Hyunjin loses his bravery the moment he steps into his new classroom.