Bakugo: We need to distract these guys
Sero: Leave it to me
Sero: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Kirishima, Denki, and Mina: *Immediately begin arguing*
Jiro, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.
Bakugo: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Sero: Nope, absolutely not.
Kirishima: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Denki: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Mina: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Jiro: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.
Bakugo, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Sero: Hey.
Kirishima: Hi.
Denki: Hello.
Mina: Hey!
Bakugo: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Jiro: We were out of Doritos.
Bakugo: Favorite horror movie?
Sero: It
Kirishima: Saw
Denki: Annabelle
Jiro: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics
Bakugo: Can I be frank with you guys?
Sero: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Kirishima: Can I still be Kirishima?
Denki: Shh, let Frank speak.
Bakugo: I just ended a four year relationship.
Sero: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
Bakugo: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.
*Kirishima and Denki fighting from across the room*
Bakugo and Denki sitting in jail together*
Denki: So who should we call?
Bakugo: I’d call Kirishima, but I feel safer in jail
Bakugo: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Denki: Go the fuck to sleep
Bakugo: What gif I don't want to?
Denki: Fuck You
Bakugo: You're right.
Denki: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Bakugo: *Screams*
Denki: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Kirishima: Should we do something?
Sero: No, I want to see who wins.
*Bakugo's helping Denki out after they get injured, while the others are watching*
Kirishima: How does Denki look?
Sero: A little better than you, actually.
Bakugo: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...
Sero: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!
Jiro: In your pantry!
Bakugo: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?
Sero: Is your friend here?
Bakugo, motioning to Denki: Yeah.
Sero, to Denki: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:(
Kirishima: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-
Kirishima: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?!
Kirishima: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN
Everyone else: No.
Kirishima, to Sero and Jiro: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS
Sero: YAAAAAAAAY!
Jiro: THE PRESTIGE!
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Bakugo: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Denki: ...I did. I broke it.
Bakugo: No. No you didn't. Kirishima?
Kirishima: Don't look at me. Look at Sero.
Sero: What?! I didn't break it.
Kirishima: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Sero: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Kirishima: Suspicious.
Sero: No, it's not!
Jiro: If it matters, probably not, but Mina was the last one to use it.
Mina: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Jiro: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Mina: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Jiro!
Denki: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Bakugo.
Bakugo: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Jiro: Bakugo... Kirishima's been awfully quiet.
Kirishima: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Bakugo, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Bakugo: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Bakugo:
Bakugo: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Bakugo: Rules are made to be broken.
Denki: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Kirishima: Uh, piñatas.
Sero: Glow sticks.
Jiro: Karate boards.
Mina: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Bakugo: Rules.
Denki:
