𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

𝟐 | 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐥.

Trigger warning - suicide themed conversation

There have only been two instances where the thought of taking my own life has occurred. The first time was in Iraq. Urban warfare is the deadliest most brutal kind of combat I've experienced. Acts of aggression are taken to a different level of extreme and people are pushed past their breaking point as a result.
With concealed sniper positions along with booby traps, many were killed without even seeing their enemy. It was so bad that troops would blast doors off hinges and knock holes into walls of houses rather than risk being caught like a lamb to the slaughter.

There was no concern for innocent human life as the fight broke out which poured onto the streets for many days. The resistance met only pushed the number of killed up higher from both sides of the war.

No one was safe. Woman and children were used as human shields and even weapons at times. Some were sent out wearing explosives strapped to their bodies with the hope of getting being seen as non threatening in order to get closer to their targets so maximum impact.

One can only take so much internal destruction when living through something like that. The horrific images are stained on my heart and often remind me of the days when we lived through the worst of times. Vividly reminding me of all the soldiers I was unable to help or bring back to their families in any capacity, whether alive or even just returning their bodies.

The service carefully managed deployments but with the desperate need for soldiers during that time I was one of many sent over. It was the most intense between 2003-2006. My unit was deployed to Iraq multiple times throughout my career.

The second time I thought about taking my own life was when being buried under the collapsed building in Atlanta during the outbreak.

There are no words to describe how I felt other than done. Mentally and physically I was checked out. It isn't something I talk about much. But if I need to, I always went to my brothers in combat to talk about it. Many of them had their own experiences with the thought.

I understand how the world could push someone into making that decision. Not everyone has something to live for nowadays but even if they did, who are you to take their choice away or judge? I guess that's why I don't agree with what Dale did. As sad as it would've been to mourn her, Andrea deserved what we all do. To live or die by her choice.