The Dictator's Pet

Year of Our Blessed Leader 294

Facts about Our Blessed Leader:

Our Blessed Leader was born a simple farmer (He is humble).

Our Blessed Leader assumed the yoke of leadership during the Great Awakening (He is dutiful).

Our Blessed Leader consumes not the flesh of any living creature (He is moral).

Our Blessed Leader partakes not of visceral pleasures (He is virtuous).

Our Blessed Leader is an aficionado of American jazz (He is cultured).

What we know of Our Blessed Leader, or OBL, is limited compared to what we do not know. OBL has not appeared publicly in many years. We still get photograph spreads in the "Eyes on Our Blessed Leader" special inserts in the Government rag: "What trends is he into?" "What is he wearing?" "What is he listening to?" So the people can still know what to like, how to dress, what to put in their ears, of course. The answers tend to vary with the seasons - except for the last one which is always, without exception, some form of American Jazz. ("The greatest achievement of the human race!")

It is my job to prepare the archival photographs for the rags and, when necessary, perform retouching to ensure the photographs meet government standards. This mainly applies to photographs of Ancient America. Removal of contraband such as cigarettes, meat, and alcohol is fairly straightforward, but can present a challenge to maintain the perception of a complete, authentic photograph record. I approach this not as fooling the eye, but as pleasing the eye - the viewer expects an image that both makes sense to the brain and thrills the heart, after all. It is more of an art than a science, and I am something of an artist, if I may be bold.

I only wish I could access a larger catalog of images; including, of course, those of OBL himself. I have heard stories from before the Great Awakening that - I shudder to imagine, of course - tell of a time when each citizen had a device like a great archive in their pocket that could show them anything they dreamed, replete with photographs of all manner of subjects - people and places, great animals in vast forests of trees, magnificent machines and devices for both work and leisure, and more wonders than can be imagined. Far too much temptation and diversion for any citizen to manage while meeting their obligations and being a productive member of society; praise be to the Great Leaders who led us out from under the yoke of that existence, of course. (Although it sounds, I will admit, at the very least though only slightly, intriguing.)

I myself, despite my position, have yet to be blessed with directly receiving the lightwaves reflected off the revered form of OBL into the physical orbs of my own eyes; unless one counts the indirect transmission method of a photograph. But they hit me wrong, somehow. They do not fit the descriptions of OBL I heard from Grandmother. The OBL I see in photographs is severe about the eyes, with a perennially serious expression, tall and broad, ever-present canine companion by his side with ears perked, alert to any threat. Gran painted a different picture.

Gran had become a famous Jazz singer after being plucked out of small town obscurity and funneled to fame as a young woman. She was discovered by a visiting dignitary-cum-talent-agent while singing to herself as she worked in a factory. This dignitary knew of OBL's obsession with jazz (and don't we all now) and presented her as a token to gain favor, or so the rumor goes. Gran never knew or cared about these machinations. All she knew was suddenly she was touring the country from top to tip, performing at every venue from the dingiest ("100% Authentic!") recreated dusty-counter-topped-and-sticky-floored American jazz bars, to the grandest, most elegant post-neo-classical concert halls of marble and stone, guarded by gold capped obelisks and caressed with velvet drapery. She is said to have had the most beautiful, lark-like, silky-smokiest voice that anyone living had ever heard, and the snappiest, dancinest vocal stylings, which demanded the Charleston ("And no excuse!") Given all that, it is no surprise that she became the favorite of OBL.