𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

𝟏𝟑 | 𝐀 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Refusing to leave the barn meant spending time with the one person I hoped to avoid being around. Most of our time was spent in silence but not all of it.

"Lemme ask you something, man. What if Rick can't convince Hershel to let us handle this?" Shane asked.

"We're surrounded by nothing but farmland." I said as I tossed a piece of tall grass I plucked from between my legs. Sitting on my ass just staring at the barn was already irritating as I was in a losing battle with myself. Trying to talk myself out of calling over the guys to clear the walkers out behind the farmers back, I decided to think more carefully know he'd be all over the idea. "Maybe we can find another piece of land."

"I don't know. This herd gets out and attacks Hershel's family, then what if they head in our direction?" Shane leans his back against the farming machinery.

There were no good solutions.

"So what were you thinking? You and I handle this regardless of what everyone else thinks." I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Wouldn't be the first time we've had to make the tough call."

"That was different." I stood from my position on the empty crate I found on the side of the barn.

"How?" He asked looking over me.

"Because we didn't have any other way out." My entire body was sore and all I wanted to do was sleep for a few days straight uninterrupted.

"Fort Be—"

"For the love of god, Shane. Please don't finished that sentence." He didn't appreciate the eye roll but it was much more welcomed than another screaming match or knock to the floor. "Shane we need to make this work. I can't go back out there." My voice now lowered showing my desperation.

"You haven't said much about whatever happened out there. I've asked the others but no one ever says anything." He responded sounding actually concerned.

I can't look at him so I settle my eyes on my hands as I rubbed my palms. "I've done things." My brows frowned as I tried not to focus on my chest that felt heavy. "Some while having episodes. But mostly with a clear head. I always did what I needed to do, or at least that's what the guys tell me. I'm having a hard time making peace with myself because of it. I just wanted to be with my family so badly that...
I didn't let anything, I didn't let anyone come between me and finding you guys. None of it mattered until I did and now, I can't stop thinking about everyone I hurt to make it here."

Shane drowned in sorrow seeing my emotions bleed all over. "Nate, we wanted you back more than anything, brother. You have no idea, man. Back at camp I meant what I said, we aren't splitting up again. I thought about it back at the church. But I can't bring myself to.
That's why I'm trying to get this barn cleared. We need to stay here all together safely or we just need to go."

"Why'd you do it?" The moment came where I felt like I wasn't too angry at him and able to speak about it.

His ashamed behavior noted my lack of distaste towards him as the curiosity dominated my expression. "When everything started it was just a couple weird stories on the news. I don't got to tell you that, you seen it too. After that it all just happened so quick. You being pulled from leave and sent to the city, the phone call between us when you warned me... We were on our way out when they dropped a A Bomb in the streets.
Nate, you have no idea how much I wished it was me instead of you."