Since her mother's passing she felt alone and drifting against the tide.
But he made her feel grounded.
A fight between addiction and love, she wanted to be free. A haunting past she can't keep running away from.
"People do bad things when they ar...
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The Pogues left at around ten so I could sort the house out. There wasn't much to do before Dad got back. Just cleaning the sheets, putting rubbish away and making it smell half decent instead of ale and cigarette smoke.
I felt drained, like my body was missing something. I went to my bedroom and grabbed out the pouch of coke. I took a snort inhaling sharply. I've missed this the last two days. When I did coke, it gave my body a sense of relief but an empowering shock at the same time. It sent pulses through my blood just causing me to want, to need more. I wanted to save some for later so took another sniff before putting it down my bra.
I decided I was gonna head to the beach and chill on my own. I liked doing that sometimes. I got used to my own company when Mum died. I walked down and the ocean breeze sent my hair across my face. I loved this place so much. I found comfort in hearing the waves and the feel of the sand between my toes. British beaches were nothing compared to the ones over here, especially Kildare.
I sat down on a bench and leaned back feeling the full effect of the coke. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the natural summer air. I looked up to the sky and whispered, "I hope I'm making you proud Mum. I'm trying I promise."
As I closed my eyes once more I felt a presence sit down beside me. I opened my eyes and Rafe was sat beside me. "Hey Eli-Beli, what you doing?" He asked nudging my arm. "Not here to be annoyed by you that's for sure," I sighed. As I got up to leave he grabbed my arm. "Sit," he demanded.
I gazed into his deep blue eyes, they had an ocean of their own. He stared back at me making me feel slightly nervous. "I'm sorry I text you last night," he spoke, "I was high and drunk and I dunno, I guess I needed company." Great so he wanted to use me for someone to sit with. "Don't do it again," I teased, trying to make a joke of this very weird and awkward situation. He chuckled lightly. "Look I know we slept together I just wanted to say, I don't want anything. I don't date," he muttered. "Ouch, my heart," I playfully smacked my chest. "Shutup," he grinned. I laughed and as I looked at him he furrowed his brows. "Are you high?" He questioned. Here we go. "Nope," I lied. "Els I know when you're high, your pupils are as wide as anything," he shook his head. "Okay, so what if I am, you can't tell me I can't do it," I stated. "It's dangerous, it can.. it can kill you," he whispered the last part. "Since when does Mr Cameron care about me dying, and so what, that might be my aim," I joked. He looks at me with saddened eyes. "You don't mean that," he looked concerned. "Why are you sat here with me Rafe, you're never this calm or nice, is there something you want from me?" I asked raising my brows. I was confused as to why he was sat having a conversation with me in broad daylight instead of sucking off his boys at the country club. "You're right, I'm never this nice to you, but I guess if Sarah knew you was doing-" I cut him off. "Do NOT tell her!" I warned. He laughed holding his hands up, "you're secrets safe with me."
Me and Rafe sat in silence for around ten minutes after that. It was awkward but I sort of felt relaxed. Probably the coke. I got up off the bench and start to walk away. "See you around," I smiled. "Yeh," he responded, "you going to the movie night tonight?" I nodded my head and carried on walking away.
Rafe Cameron is a strange human being.
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A.N- A short chapter for you guys. Like I said this is a slow burner but we will start to see Rafe more often from this point on.
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