The other woman / LDR

1.

Skies are turning grey, leaves are turning brown. Autumn is arriving, just in time before my winter depression re-enters my body. I look down the table, the same red wine I poured into my glass an hour before I sat down on the balcony is turning into a deeper, more burgundy red colour. The ticking of my pen against my notebook is more annoying then it was last season. Jason has given me an ultimatum, I have to write.

My fans aren't as excited as they were about Lust for life, they're living for the retro vibe, the songs about love, vintage love. My headache is beginning to get worse, a sip from my burgundy red wine will help the pain.

"You lose your way, just take my hand." I look into the distance, the sea's rough today, I see many people sailing, big yachts are sailing up and down the harbor. Its the most idealic place in the world where I live.
When this appartment hit the market I had to buy it. A big risk if I have to believe Jason, he's very strict about my life. When he made the promise to my father to take good care of me in this rough hollywood world, he kept his promise. Other then the pressure of me writing songs he's a very nice guy, and I like his beard.

But what if you're lost at sea? I get inspired when I look at it, the waves, the wales that sometimes jump into the air if you're actively looking at it. My mind goes everywhere at my writing sessions. "You're lost at sea, then i'll command your boat to me again."

Holyfuck- this is genius. I stand up, walk inside and grab my phone who I locked into my vault. A tip for you from me, if you need time alone and you live your life the way that I live mine, lock that phone up. "Jason, its me, call me back." I sigh as I hear Jason's voicemail again after dialing his number for the second time. Festival summer is over and I have to do something big, its october, I'm basically living under the radar after perfoming at Coachella this year. TMZ is all up my ass after not giving an statement on where to go next.

I continue with writing and in just under 45 minutes I have a new song, the first song of my new album. The bridge is easy to follow along and I'm sure this new type of era I'm entering will be welcomed with open arms from my fans. I love them, I trust them and I'm sure they expect some new songs. Under pressure starts playing when I'm finally ready to enjoy my wine thats turning warm from the hours it has to wait before I drink it.

"Lana, I'm down with whatever idea you're coming next."

"Haha Jason, you have no idea whats coming next. As you know my mind's going places I-" He interrupts me with an awful hard laugh, it shakes my core. Isn't he taking me seriously?

"Lana, you think you can top every next album you write, what is it that inspires you today? You have to get some stability. Don't dissapear for your fans, write, fast, and give it to the fans, they deserve that." His statement makes me dizzy, he brings it in a very rough way. It dissapoints me that he isn't as excited as I expected him to be.

"I actually think Jase, that the way you speak to me is simply rude." It stays quiet on the other side of the phone, so I decide to continue. "I'm the mastermind behind your money, you make money of me and I never complained about you or this. But if you're pushing me and making sure I'm under pressure all the time? That doesn't motivate me."

"I made a promise babygirl, I have to keep you safe. And in order to keep you safe, we need money, and how do we make money?"

"If you keep on saying this and not validate my feelings, I'm making sure I'm keeping myself safe, fire you and keep my own money."

It stays quiet on the other side on the phone, I'm sure he heard me and he probably has to think about the words I just said. "Are you in Jason yes or no?" I swear I can hear his breathing going quicker.

"Okay when?"

"Now."