McKenna's pov
based on chapter 33
1230 words. :)
I had decided to finally go see Lee again, to tell you the truth i missed him a lot,i wanted to talk to him, i didn't care if he was a sarcastic, sassy prick, he was still my very special Lee. I got up from my bed and decided to go check on him. I saw Parker leaving his room looking extremely upset, i know Parker and i aren't the best of friends, but Emily is my friend and if Lee was upset i would want Emily to check on him for me. So i followed him until we reached the caffe.
" Hey Parker whats up?" I asked hoping he would actually tell me. " Hey McKenna,its just me and lee having one of those brotherly moments." their was a long pause after he said that i mean Lee and Parker having a brotherly moment? it was weird but cute. The only time i have ever seen them like real brothers was when we went to clean out his garage and we watched their baby videos.
"I'm sorry for my shitty attitude towards yo McKenna, i was a f^#@ing ass to you but i'm under a lot of stress and i'm just really F^#@ING sorry." he said putting his head in his hands . " Its OK Parker, i understand,not really , but i do, i get where you're coming from. Its ok." i said smiling , i never knew Parker as one to apologize. " Hey can you go check on my brother, he needs someone right now and i know for sure that it isn't me " he said looking up at me. " Sure thing, I would do anything for lee lee." i said smiling " You love him dont you?" he asked . i looked down at him and shook my head "So much that i would walk 10,000 miles." I said before getting up and heading to leave .
My phone started ringing, i looked at the caller ID and saww It was Lee " Hello" i said happily on the phone . their was a long pause at the other end of the line , I began to worry. " Is everything alright?" i said trying to hide the fear in my voice , i hope he hadn't done something like skateboard off the roof top again.
" I just..." he started but couldn't finish. "What's the matter?" i asked i was in full on panick mode. " Can you just come to my dorm?" he asked sounding a little hesitant. " Ok i agreed" " juat wait for me there." i said before hanging up and blasting in to a full on run.
I reached his dorm in a matter of minutes. I looked at his door and hoped everything was alright. I knocked and their was no reply i was once again getting nervous. He opened the door slowly, i looked at him and Lee was in a state i only saw once, he was crying, it broke my heart. I realised we were standing in silence, and he wasn't going to talk. " What's the matter?" I asked searching his face for the answer.
" Everything." he said
" Lets start less broad" i said hoping to get to the bottom of this.
And then the silence returned.
"I f^#2ed up real bad" he said finaally looking at me.
I looked at him and then remembered seeing Parker leaving his room ." Is it Parker? " i asked. He looked shaken up, i so badly wanted to reach for him and hold him in my arms, but if i did things what just get worse.
" He filed a lawsuit against Cornerstone." he siaid finally looking over at me, what happened at corner stone? " For their negligence i guess" he continued
" ok" i said, i couldn't say anything else.
" And i sort of lost it." he said in a shaking voice.
What did he do? I questioned myself then made a general sweep of the room only to find a towel on the ground, i hoped that Lee was just being messy and decided to drop the towel, so i went to pick it up so i could hang it back on the rack. I looked at the towel and i was shocked, their was blood on it , please tell me its coolaid. Who am i kidding , i knoe it's blood. Maybe he tripped or something. i thought to myself and i almost believed myself , that was until i looked in the sink and found the razor. MY heart brokje a little. I picked up the razor and threw it in the bin along with his towel. I began walking over to him, i needed to see the damage , i kneeled down and took his left hand in mine and their was nothing, i was still afraid. I picked up his right hand ever so slowly and looke at all the cuts there, my hand began to tremble and tears left his eyes.
" it's alright." i said but i knew it wasn't, i was freaking out inside. " Relapses happen." i said but i wasn't sure who i was trying to comfort more him, or myself.
I went to his closet and pulled out a wash clotha and some soap, i walked back over to him. I needed to touch him, to know that he was stiil alright. I traced my fingers down his cheek and said" i'm going to clean it now" and then procieded to clean it. I then went over to his desk and pulled out his first aid kit. I wrapped his hand. " Does Parker....?" i asked not being able to finish the sentence. he shook his head no, i expected that. I needed to bget out of here.
" Why don't you o lie down, you've had an exhausting morning." i said hoping he would agree and when he did i was relieved. I pulled the blanket over him. " Get some rest ok, i'm going to come back later." i said befor heading to the door. As soon as i opened the door my tears began to fall. I hoped he didn't hear me trying to choke back a sob.
I walked down the coridor with tears threatning to spill my eyes. I saw the girls washroom and made a run for it. When i reached there i let my tears flow. I know i said it was alright, but it hurts so much. My sister left me and now Lee wants to leave me too, I love that weird boy and it hurts to see him like this. I wish i could just be there for him. I cant take another loss, i cant loose someone else that i have begun to love. I know it's just a relapse but it still makes sad and angry. Lee has become so important in ,my life, he is my best friend, he helps me cope with my sister and him doing self harm again is making me crazy.
I can't deal with this right now. Mybe i should just end things with Lee. But i can't , he is way too important to me, maybe i can... no that wont work. Lee Adams why have you made me fall in love with you. I will never give up on you. i said to myself before getting off the floor and unlocking the door, i would have to be strong for bothe lee and me .
