The Poem Book That Shouldn't Be Seen [P1: If It Goes Up, Must Come Down]

I'm afraid.

I'm so afraid right now,
When you install tinder for fun but someone less than a kilometer away accidentally matches you,
When you realize that not everything is just how to play,
What if I don't write to him and he sees me on the street?

Now I have to decide whether to respond or not,
This was a joke,
What do I do now that it's not,
It's like...

He's prettier than me, and if he has more money than me, will it be a problem?,
What do I do if I know people who don't like me?
He probably wants to meet up in person, it makes my stomach turn, well I'm not an emblem,
This makes me have more pressure, a fake new me.

Now more than ever I feel like I need friends,
Now more than ever I feel like I need to make money,
Now I look at my appearances, isn't this what I already talked, about lands?
Now more than ever I forget about her, so does she really matter?

Maybe I just love money, appearances, love, fame and pain,
Maybe I just want to show her what I'm worth,
But above all to me, so that it stops raining,
I'm worth it?