My life has alway been surrounded by people that love each other but never around people who truly love me. Growing up the youngest boy of a family of 6 boys and a single mom hasn't been easy. My life hasn't always been picture perfect being the onl...
I am officially 4 months pregnant. Time has flown by in my pregnancy and sometimes I forget I'm pregnant and I think I'm still in shock about it cause I can't believe I'm so calm about the fact that I'm going to be a mother but I think that's because I have bigger things to care about like Theo in hospital. I feel bad that no one knows that I'm carrying but I need Theo to know first. And if that means no one finds out until after it is born then that's not my issue.
I am around the time where I should find out the gender but I want to find out with Theo. I have had a few scans because it's required to make sure the baby is growing healthy but other than that I feel like I'm my normal unpregnant self. I've told Theo that I was pregnant on multiple occasions when I was alone with him but I don't know if he can hear or not but I said it just in case he could.
My bump is still sitting quite low and by now it should have really filled out my stomach so I think I'm having a girl. But the thing that's grown the most are my boobs I'm not mad about it because I've always wanted bigger boobs but now there spilling out of my bras and I can't afford to buy new ones.
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Especially because I'm trying to save up. I have moments when I realise that I'm going to be a mom living with my mom. I've already got savings but I've been adding to it to save up to be able to afford to rent and furnish an apartment for a few months and maybe have a little extra for baby supply's. Currently I have $12,000 saved up it's not alot but I'm trying. I've found a few apartments that's I like that are 2 bedrooms. There not the best looking beause there quite small but the larger ones are not in my budget.
I've cut my hair already aswell. Its just a little bit below my shoulders and I love it. I did cry when I saw my hair gone but I needed a fresh beginning and permanently put the past behind me especially if I'm gonna be having a baby.
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I'm sat by Theo's bed like always this is where I live. It was silent today though no one was talking. It was the weekend which meant his family came to visit. I was doing my work because I work online as an assistant for gretelbray business. It means I just answer emails all day and schedule meetings and shit. I quit my last job at the café a little before Theo got sick. I decided to work online so that it is easy for me to be with him.
