Sold To One Direction [SATIRE]

Chapter One: Greetings, M'lady

SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE
   [I have to remind you !!]

   I wake up hearing my mother screaming my name from downstairs. I quickly pull my H/C hair into a messy bun and run downstairs in my pajamas. I see my disheveled mother holding my suitcase. She has tears in her eyes.

   "Y/N, I'm selling you." She says, her eyes glossy as she spoke. I could her tears were so clearly fake. My eyes were wide, because why wouldn't they be? I was getting sold.

   My mother never actually cared about me. She only really cared about buying weird Colleen Hoover books, so that's probably why she was selling me. To buy more Colleen Hoover books. I never really got why, because they're such bad books. But at least I wasn't going to have to be near her anymore. She doesn't shower or brush her teeth. She's always too busy reading.

   "What or who are you selling me to?!" I ask.

   "Some band called One Direction." She answers.

   "You're... You're selling me to one direction?!" I practically scream. My favorite band, One Direction. I knew everything about this band, inside out. And I was hoping to get to know the members the same way, inside and out, if you know what I mean.

   I'm practically jumping off the walls. I get to leave my Colleen Hoover obsessed mother, and live with One Direction. I've read countless fan-fictions about this, and now my dreams are coming true! What did I ever do to deserve this?

   My mother hands me my suitcase as I run upstairs to go pack. I grab two pairs of ripped jeans shorts from my closet, along with three pairs ripped jeans and four shirts, including my one prized possession: my One Direction t-shirt starting Harry Styles face plastered on it. I only have one pair of shoes, that being checkered vans so choosing shoes wasn't a problem. I grab all my underwear and bras, but I'm not going into detail about that because it would be weird. I grab my diary along with my sketchbook, and a few other things... including the necklace my dad gave me before he died. We will go into detail about that later...

   "When do I get to meet them!?" I run downstairs, yelling to my mother.

   "Right now. They're waiting outside." She answers.

   And with that, I quickly brush my teeth as I get ready, putting on my ripped Jean shorts and my hot pink tank top paired with a simple black hoodie, throwing my hair into another messy bun as the earlier one had gotten messed out from all the running around. I pull my vans on. I didn't really need to try to look good, because I always did. My petite small hands grab the door handle, as my 4'4 body steps outside.

   And there they were.

     Harry Styles. Zayn Malik. Louis Tomlinson. Niall Horan. Liam Payne. All of the One Direction members in all of their beauty. I hope my face isn't as red as it feels.

   I was practically jumping with joy until Hazza greeted me with a smile and a beautiful British accent. I blush at even the sight.

   "Hallo. I'm Harry Styles, nice to be met." He says, holding out a hand. I instantly copy him, holding out my hand as I shake his.

   Zayn greets me the same way, holding out his hand as he speaks. "Hey, I'm Zayn, but you can call me Zayn-The-Vain." He says. I shake his hand.

   Louis Tomlinson greets me the same way. "I'm Louis, but you can call me lou." He says in a similar accent to Harrys. I shake his hand as well.

   Niall Horran holds out his hand. "Dia Dhuit. 'm Naill. Nice to get to know ya." Since his whole personality is being Irish, he greets me in Irish. Cool I guess. I shake his hand

   At last, Liam Payne greets me. I shake his warm hand as he greets me. "You probably already know me, the great Liam Payne. Yeah, hi." He says as I shake his hand.

   They lead me to their car as we drive away to their mansion. A few minutes later, we arrive. It's a beautiful modern-like place, and I could see a pool in the back and palm trees surrounding the area like an oasis. I couldn't wait to live here.

  Harry Styles opens the door for me with a classic, "ladies first." And I couldn't help but feel a bit flustered. I mean, Harry Styles was talking to me. Gosh, I was about to live with One Direction. How could I not feel flustered?

   I step into the house, seeing all the modern furniture, and a maid cleaning off the counters. There are music sheets on every counter, put into nice stacks. The house looks like something straight out of Disney channel. And speaking of Disney channel, there is Drake & Josh put on the Telly. My big E/C orbs widen at the sight.

   Naill leads me to the couch, gesturing for me to sit down. I sit down as elegantly as possible, not wanting to act like a slob. I sit there, chatting with all of them.

   "You're awfully pretty. What's your name? I never caught it." Harry says, and I blush at the compliment.

   "W-Well, I'm Y/N." I stutter out, looking at him in all his long haired glory.

   "Nice to meet you, Y/N. Well we have something to ask of you, rather tell.." he says, mischievously.

  "Ye-Yeah?" I manage.

   "Well, if you're going to live with us, you need to do somethin' 'round here." He responds.

   "And..?"

   "We're asking you to be our maid." He answers.

   I gasp at his words, my E/C eyes widening at the bold statement. A maid? Was I going to have to wear one of those dresses? I think back to the other maid waving to me... she was wearing one! Oh no... I'm going to have to wear a freakin' maid dress in front of One Direction!? How utterly embarrassing... I at least hope I look cute in it.

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Hi to whoever is reading this.

Please remember that this is A JOKE !!! Do NOT take this seriously — 😭🤞 — I also have never written a fanfic in my life, so please give me tips if you can! I literally know NOTHING about one Direction too like who the fuck is Louis Tomlinson???

So now you're a maid for One Direction! And speaking of direction, I really have no direction for where this is going so please comment and I'll  probably pick one (I won't tell you which) and make that the story.

Bye!

1115 words.

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