In my mind.

Alone

Psychological/ emotional angst.

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People become shadows when you can't understand them.

They become an object of fear, of revulsion, of hate.

Their smiles become mocking, their words taunting and their actions irate.

You try to understand, but you can't.

And soon, you find yourself spiraling down, down, down into a pit of despair.

But, who will help you climb free?

Will anyone care?

Why did it become like this?

....

A girl stood, alone among the faceless shadows that loomed over her, sneering at her, mocking her. And she stood, hidden behind a mask they laughed. She acted as though she is happy, she acts as though she isn't dying inside. She acts as though she is perfectly fine.

But it's all a lie. A facade. Behind the mask, the lies, the facade she is crying.

She is empty.

She is numb.

She is alone.

She sees hate in every smile, she hears mockery in every word, she sees the darkness in everything. And slowly, she is being poisoned by the lies, the false hope- the delusions of happiness. It is drowning her- slowly engulfing her in the inescapable anguish, suffocating her in the silent screams that go unheard because nobody ever listens. And gradually, the mask begins to crack and crumble, breaking away as everything starts to hurt.

Everything hurts. Everything.

A person smiles a smile that seems oh-so fake, so forced, turning away and going silent as the girl sits, smile plastered in place. But throughout the air, if you listen very carefully, strain your ears and actually pay attention to the surrounding world and the tiny, overlooked cries for help that are never heard, you can hear a resounding-

Crack.

A piece of the mask crumbles to the ground, trampled into oblivion as she fights back the sadness that is buried deep, deep within the void that is her heart, among the mass of thoughts, feelings and other unidentifiable creatures that swarm and fight in an attempt to slaughter eachother and claw away at her sanity like savage beasts. A single tear falls down, unnoticed by anyone. For no-one tries to see past the facade.

No-one tries to see that she is slowly dying inside.

No-one ever tries.

No-one ever cares.

And no-one will save her from drowning.

Question after question, doubt after doubt, it all comes piling in, wreaking devastation and chaos as it tears through her like a tornado, ripping her apart. And she thinks and thinks and thinks, being dragged down and down into the pit of despair as she thinks and doubts and questions and despairs:

What did I do?

Everything I shouldn't have.

What did I say?

The wrong thing. Oh dear god, I'm such a freaking imbecile.

Oh god, do they hate me?

Of course they do. No-one would like me.

What do I do?

Oh god, no. It's too late. Ah, I ruined everything.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I should never have been born.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for being a failure.

I'm sorry that I opened my mouth.

I'm sorry I was born.

I'm sorry....

I'm sorry I exist...