Just one more time. (Midoaka Oneshot)

Just one more time (OneShot)

Akashi let the cold water of the shower fall down his back, with a chill. After that match, in which he had played his best, in which, actually, both his personalities had, he felt different, in so many ways...

It was obvious that loosing sucked, but somehow it had taught him a very important lesson in life, and he considered that incredibly important. He had already thanked his former teammate, Kuroko Tetsuya, and with that handshake, he hoped that everything would be okay. But it was obvious that he couldn't apologize for all what he has done with only a mere handshake. It was ludicrous to even think that. He felt a pain in his chest again and remembered when his other self was the dominating one: everything was much easier, as it all was fine as long as he kept winning. He had been taught that since a very early age, and he now regrets that, as he had never been able to make real friends with anyone, not even in the basketball team, as he always knew he would have to fight against them when the time came.

And the time came and went. He really regrets now all he had done, and for a moment, Akashi Seijuro hoped he could really apologize for what he had done. When he was thinking this, with the water running down his closed eyes, his nose, and his soft lips, with his hands rubbing the back of his short red hair, he thought of a person in particular: someone he still hadn't apologized to, and who had been a really important pillar in his middle school life.

Midorima Shintarou.

That name sounded mellow when he said it, in the lonliness of the showers. The past he had shared with that guy was somehow one of those happy memories he wish could come back. As well as he felt patronising towards his other teammates, what he had with Midorima had been a completely different relationship, in a deeper emotional level. He remembered when they used to play Shogi in the club reunions, when Midorima waited patiently for him to finish whatever he was doing at that moment and then walk together until they had to take different paces to get back home. He remembered the softness of his hand, with his long, thin fingers curling around his, the touch of his hair, that made Akashi's nose tickle whenever he buried his face on it. Those memories that would never come back.

He accepted that with a grin. He knew Midorima was happy now too, with his new friends, but he really wanted to be a bigger part on the shooter's life. Although that was impossible now.
Well, he deserved it. He got out of the shower and when he was putting his clothes back on, he remembered he had seen him when he was playing.

Maybe he could go search him and apologize propperly...

With a headshake, he got out and started wandering around. When he got out, the fresh air hit him in the face, and Akashi fastly buttoned his jacket up. At the sight of a green haired individual, he started walking, at a slow path. He stopped when he saw Midorima was already accompanied.

Takao was laughing, like he always did, while Midorima stared at his lucky item for the day, with a slight smile painted on those beautiful lips of his. Akashi frowned and thought to come back later, but he knew Midorima woulnd't be there when he did, so, with a sight, he started walking until he was just some steps behind them.

"Greetings." He said, with a polite yet distant tone. His eyes wandered around the place they were, not knowing if he should explain himself while Takao was still there. He changed his weight from one leg to another, uncomfortable.
Takao appeared to notice, because he excused himself and went with a smile, saying he wanted to buy something to drink. He told Midorima he would be waiting for him in the rickshaw and walked away trotting.

Midorima stared at Akashi with a cold look. Akashi glanced back at the bespectacled guy and decided to be direct.

"See, Midorima, I... apparently, have not apologized for my desconsiderate demeanor in our last match..." He took a deep breath and looked up to the taller male.

"I see... Well, I guess it's fair to say that was an apologize." Midorima's voice was colder than ice, and Akashi felt his glance moving to where Takao had dissappeared just a moment ago. He discovered himself feeling terribly jealous and forced himself to remember he and Midorima were nothing more than former teammates now.

That feeling hurt him more than any open wound he could have done himself. Just former teammates. The thought of it was itself bleak.

His hand moved up itself, offering Midorima the denyed handshake.

He stared at it for a moment, and the took Akashi's smaller hand into his bigger one, curling his fingers with Akashi's once more, instead of handshaking, he held Akashi's hand with the softness he had always done, in the past. The touch of it brought both of them back to that old days in Teiko. Midorima tilted his head and sighed.

"I'm afraid this is the last time." He said.

Akashi's bowels writhed, and he nodded with a sad smile on his face.

"I guess it is. I really feel lonely now..." He murmured more to himself than to Midorima.

The other male finally took his hand away and put in on his pocket. His face was sad as well.

"I don't intend to lie, Akashi. I don't want to stop being your acquitance or anything like that. If something, I still consider you a friend. But I suppose it isn't enough to satisfy you."

"It has never been." Akashi smirked and looked away, once more. He wasn't feeling like the Emperor he was supposed to be, but as a really confused and lonely teenager, whose heart was still trying to assume the weight of Midorima's words.

"I am sorry." Midorima did feel sorry, but that was not what the other male wanted. Akashi shaked his head.

"No. You shoulnd't apologize. It's true that I feel jealous, and I hope you understand that. But I'm not likely to let you feel guilty about it. Your happiness should be your priority, and that is why, apologizing at something like that is just..." Akashi stopped, and looked back at Midorima. "Nevermind. I am the one that should apologize here."

"Again?" Midorima asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Once is not enough. And as far as I'm concerned, that wasn't a propper apology. Midorima Shintarou, I am terribly sorry for my behaviour towards you this recent time." He nodded again, tilting his head.

Midorima smiled slightly.
"I accept your apologies, Akashi. Now, let's play Shogi again one day, shall we?"

Akashi blinked in surprise and looked at him, at which Midorima just smiled again.

"I'm afraid that is what we have left. And be sure I'll be the one who'll win next time."

"Do you mean at Shogi or at basketball?" Akashi was only getting more and more confused.

"Both. Now, I have to go. Takao should be already waiting for me."

While the green haired male walked away, Akashi felt jealous once again. He let himself this time though. Just once more, to remember the old days.

With a sad smile and tears running down his face, he turned back and walked off, wandering around again, like a stray dog with nowhere to go.