[one-shot//chloe]
i am held hostage.
ever since i was a little girl, just eight years old, i liked being by myself. i didn't like peoples' company. i didn't mind not having a single friend, my mind was my friend.
at first i thought it didn't matter much. my mom would ask me, "do you have any friends?" and i would just shake my head. i mean, what's the big deal? not having any friends is okay.
i didn't understand why my mom would give me a concerned look or why she'd ask me when i was planning to make friends. she'd watch me play outside all alone, with just my dolls or a few pretty flowers i found. i silently played with them; i wasn't like any other child.
as i grew up, i started to realize that not having a friends was a problem. when my little sister started school, i remember walking her home and her telling me she made a bunch of cool friends of all colors and she couldn't wait to tell mom all about it. when she asked me how i never had friends over, it really hit me.
how come i was thirteen with no friends and my sister, a five year old, already had too many to count?
i knew at this point, it wasn't because i liked being alone more than i should've. not once did i make a friend in the years of my school life. i was like a ghost, just watching everyone go through their lives, while i just stood there unacknowledged. nobody really cared i existed.
so, the next day, i tried to make a friend. i accepted anyone, whether they were a boy, girl, tall, short, blonde, brunet, it didn't matter. anyone was accepted to be my friend. i searched the entire day, trying to find a friend.
but i didn't.
i tried so hard for the next few years, trying to look more presentable, trying to seem more welcoming, trying to raise my hand in class more often so people knew i still existed, everything. i was stuck, unable to make a move and say a simple hello.
i couldn't even walk up to anyone. it was like my nerves and muscles were preventing me to meeting someone new. my mind would push me away from someone who was so close from becoming my friend.
i stumbled every day without someone to talk to. i pushed passed people who didn't even care that i accidentally shoved them.
i just wanted a friend.
i am held hostage. inside my mind.
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I don't know why I wrote this all in lowercase when I was cringing the entire time?? lowercase just isn't victoria's thing I realized this today.
anyways, so I don't know if I ever mentioned this before, but I write one-shots a lot. if you looked at my notes on my phone, you'd be surprised at the amount of one-shots I've written throughout the past year or so. I decided to share some of my favorites with you!
I've posted seven other one-shots, so go check them out! thank you for reading hostage.
