Cuts and Scars, I'm Fine

When Nick found Louis, his arms were caked in blood. His own from when Louis tried to end it all. Nick saved him, he called him baby, and he wrapped Louis' wrists when the doctors sent him home. And Nick would kiss Louis' scars.

Nick took Louis away. Away from people who called him disgusting, and ugly, and would beat him until he agreed.

Nick called Louis beautiful and he would love him and spoil him and he looked at Louis lie he was every star in the galaxy. Nick kept all the sharp objects out of Louis' hands and told him to kiss him whenever the world felt like too much. He would wipe away the tears and rock Louis to sleep when he woke up screaming.

And soon Louis didn't need the pain. Because Nick's love always felt better. Louis never wanted to leave Nick's side, and the older man wouldn't have it any other way. But Louis was missed by another person. He was loved by at least one other boy.

Harry.

Harry who loved Louis longer than Nick was even in the picture. Who never told Louis because Louis would never love him once Nick was. Who tried to help Louis but was always pushed away.

Louis missed Harry too though. He was his best friend. And maybe Louis shouldn't have pushed Harry away but he wouldn't understand. Only Nick truly understood.

"So you're living with him now?" Harry asked during one of their rare get-togethers at the local bakery.

Louis took a sip of the tea Harry had ordered from him and nodded his head. "Yeah, we thought it was better than me staying with that pathetic excuse for a family."

Harry sighed. He knew it was better for Louis to be out of that house, but part of him wanted Louis to stay with him. "You're just... He's just... look I know you love him." Harry wanted to gag at the word. "But I just feel like you should be living with someone you've known longer."

Louis rolled his eyes. "Not this again. Harry, Nick loves me. He-he saved me. What else would you have me do anyway? Go back?" Louis was getting angrier by the minute.

Harry's eyes widened in horror at the thought. "No! Never, but maybe you should just stay with me. Mum would love to have you."

"Why don't you trust Nick with me?" Louis snapped. "I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for him!"

"That's not my fault!" Harry almost yelled. "You wouldn't let me in! I wanted to help you! But you only ever let him near you."

"Because he knew what it was like!" Louis' eyes darkened with anger. "He knew what it was like to wake up every day and hate yourself, to have everyone else hate you. To have your own mother never speak to you, and your father beat the shit out of you because you're a 'fag'. He knows what it's like to do this!" Louis stood up and rolled up his shirt sleeve, revealing rows and rows of straight scars from where Louis took a razor to his skin.

Harry knew about them, Louis hid them from everyone but him and Nick, but he still winced at the sight. Harry reached out to touch them, but Louis yanked his arm away. "Louis pleases." His voice was broken.

"No. You've never known that. You won't ever understand what it's like to be me. So how would it be better with you?" Louis continued, his blood boiling. "I think I should go." Louis got up without another word to Harry.

"Wait, Louis please!" Harry got up quickly and followed Louis out the door.

"Why can't you just be happy for me? Do you even realize how long it's been since I've done this?" Louis yelled, pointing at his arm. "Fuck you Harry! You were one of the only people who still gave a fuck!"