Chapter 2- For the longest time, I've been watching the world breath.
"When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the soul laughs for what it has found."-Sufi aphorism
Once again, the blinding white lights scorched into my eyes, leaving white spots for about six minutes as I searched my surroundings. The only people that were left were the two older folk and the nurse. But she quickly scurried out of the door, as soon as she realized I was awake again.
"Melinda?" I heard a shaky voice ask from across the room. This time, instead of the lady, the man spoke.
"Yes?" I said, my voice barely over a whisper as the scratchiness inside was too much to bear.
"We are your grandparents." He said, in the same shaky voice. Um. What? I had no other family. Just me, my mom, and my dad. And these people come in here after they are all dead, and tell me that they are part of my family.
"That's not possible." I said, In a little louder voice as the scratch was becoming more bearable. " What. you decide now is the best time for you to come in. Fuck that!" I aid. My voice a loud yell now, forgetting about all pain in the neck region.
"I understand. We only came here to give you the money to go to the re-habilitation center." He said in between breaths. His voice growing more and more shaky.
"I see. You're only here to give me money. What if I hadn't tried to kill myself. Would you have just stayed home, and let me go to some sort of fuck ass adoption agency, to be picked up by some child molesting parents and be raped for the rest of my life!" I yelled. Okay that may have been to far, but hey it could have happened.
"Never." He said. His voice more strong. I saw clearness in his eyes now, what he was saying was the truth.
"Fine." And with that, I got up out of bed, despite the throbbing, uncontrollable pain erratically controlling my body, and walked over to him, and engulfed him into a hug.
*A couple of days later*
"Ms. Calloney." A young gentlemen said while ushering me to sit down. I smiled a sad smile at him, and sat in the front row that said reserved for family. Believe it or not, Only me and my grandparents, who I've learned to love, were sitting in that section, as friends crowded themselves behind us. I awaited my turn as the priest said his solemn words, and the painful tears escaped my eyes. When I heard my name be called, I slowly stood up, and sniveled. I reached the podium beside my mother's casket, and turned and looked at her now peaceful face. Her eyes were made up with beautiful pink eyes shadow, and red lips. Her dress was a beautiful white and gold pattern. She looked like an angel ready to go to heaven. To bad I knew better. I cleared my throat, sucked back my tears, and was ready to speak my mind.
" When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the soul laughs for what it has found. Was a famous quote by Sufi an aphorism. It takes me to a place, were everything will be okay. A place where I can see my mom's face again. And be snuggled up into m mom's arms. But I know, from recent events, that we should be so lucky, to be a part of a life so beautiful as theirs. Yes they may have ended it short, but they will never be forgotten. I.. um wrote this poem for them. And I'd like it to be buried with my mom, if you don't mind." I spoke out into the crowd and saw a man in the back with a tan suit on shake his head. And with that I proceeded.
"I will never forgive the night
That took my world away
That shattered me to pieces
and turned my heart grey.
My fire is gone
and my body turned cold
I will never get to see them again
what am I going to hold?
When the night turns it's blackest
and the shadows come out and play
were will my parents be
will they be shooing them away?
They really are gone
I'm not still dreaming
I bid a good bye to them
seeing is believing
I will never forgive the night
that took my world away
that shattered me to pieces
and turned my heart grey."
I looked out into the crowd, and saw the tears in their eyes. I couldn't help but shed a tear or two, but to be honest, I barely had anymore left. After reading that poem aloud, it made me realize, that crying isn't going to make me happy. Nothing will. I'm stuck here now, and I have no one to hold, and no where to go. Sucks for me.
