The Gangsta In Love With The Good Girl

Seen Her Again

 I seen Jessica earlier today for the first time in four years. She still looked as good as ever and she's not once left my mind since we broke up. We talked a little and started reminiscing. I didn't realize I missed her this much. She finally told me the reason she broke it off with me and it was because she cheated. She said she was mad that I got locked up. Still didn't give her that right, but I know she knows that. Damn. That fucked me up when she said that. She said she didn't want to tell me cause she was scared to lose me if I found out and she knows she fucked up and would take it all back if she could so I told her that we could've worked it all out. I can't believe my lil Jay would do that though. She started to cry and that's how I know she's actually and truly sorry. She told me she had to leave then she gave me a hug and walked off with tears in her eyes. I didn't know that I would still be in love with her after all these years, but fuck what she did. I hope she knows that I forgive her even though she just told me after us being together for 6 years instead of when we were together.

I got home with my baby mamma waiting outside for me. Well shit, she looked pissed off. Yea, after Jay broke it off with me I was hella pissed and kinda sad. I didn't show it though cause you know, a G ain't trynna get all hella emotional for that. Anyways, that night she left I went to a club and found some girl with a fat ass and we was talkin and I was hitting on her so I could get some and all that happened. Well, I went to pull out so this shit wouldn't happen. Don't get me wrong, my baby girl is my world, but at the time I wasn't ready for no baby. But anyways back to what I was saying, I was pullin out but she said it was all good so I said fuck it and yeah, this happened.

I'm actually hella happy with my lil girl though. Her mom still running the streets acting like a lil hoe though so I have her all week and most the times on weekends too. She always be hella mad if I'm late to get her so she just drops her off at my house. Then she likes to always yell at me and say, "I have important places to go and you're late to pick your own daughter.." And all that typa shit. So, yeah that's what I got, again. Fuck it. Just what pisses me off is that this is only the 5th time I was late. Other times I was just chillin with the homies, smokin and I'd forget that I had to do that. This time, I ran into the love of my life I ain't gonna tell Dalaina, my baby mamma, that though. My baby girls name is Faith, I convinced Dalaina to name her that cause Jay loves that name. I didn't realize why I wanted to name her that until today.

"Daddy can we go to the park? My moms mean and doesn't like to do that."

Aw my poor baby aha. Another reason why I don't like Dalaina, she don't wanna do shit with her own kid. Fuck it though cause I get to spend more time with my baby girl.

"Of course baby." I told her. "But tomorrow cause it's already getting kind of dark."

"Alright dad. Is it time to eat dinner?" Faith asked. That's how you know she's my kid aha.

"Yeah baby girl. Then we can go to the store and get some ice-cream for dessert. How does that sound?"

"Yeah, yeah!" She said hella excited. Haha I love this girl. She weighs like two pounds but she eats a lot. Yup, she takes after me with that.

After we got done eating dinner, I took Faith to baskin robins and while we were there guess who we seen. Yup, it was Jessica. She was with a guy and it's weird to see her with another guy. It was probably her new boyfriend. She didn't mention him earlier when we were talking though. Oh maybe they like just ran into each other and he asked if she wanted some ice-cream, I don't know. It was probably some stupid love movie type of shit. I got really jealous and of course a G ain't gonna show it so I stopped staring even though it was so damn it hard to. At least I was with my baby girl so she could snap me out of it. Well we got our ice-cream and of course it had to be the day that Faith wanted to stay and eat the ice-cream there. Jay stayed there too and you could tell it wasn't her choice to. I could tell by the look in her eyes and how figidy she was. It was hella awkward for me too cause of earlier and because I had Faith with me. I ain't embarrassed of her or anything, it's just Jay always wanted a kid with me but here I am with some bitches baby. I love my baby girl, just not her mamma.

When me and Faith got back home she was hella tired so I tucked her in and she fell right asleep. I bet you're thinking that it's weird for me, a G, to be with my baby all the time instead of her being with her mom, but it's a plot twist aha. But, honestly if I didn't meet Jay I probably would've never cared, but she made me a better man... Well besides the sellin drugs and shit to get my dough. I do that to pay all my bills and to make sure my lil Faith's all good and has everything she needs. I'm a softy when it comes to her.. and Jay. After Faith went to sleep I picked up all her toys and shit out of the living room, I always need to have my house clean.. That's because of Jay too. But, about an hour after that I went to my room, slipped into some sweats, then went to lay down and go on my phone for a lil. I decided to go on Facebook and I got a friend request from Jessica.. damn. Of course I accepted it and I was debating on messaging her or not. I decided not to.. After that, I put my phone down and fell asleep.

The next day I woke up to Faith jumping on my bed watching cartoons. I honestly hate waking up like this, but I ain't gonna yell at my baby girl so I decided to get up and make some waffles for her. Me, I just ate a bowl of some captain crunch cereal, it's my favorite. Well I got ready then I got Faith ready. She's going to my sisters house today so I can do my thing. When I was dropping her off I was talking to my sister for a little and she said that she started talking to Jessica again. Rachael, my sister, started talking to Jessica first. My sis always liked her. It's just weird timing because all that's happened lately. I guess Jay asked who Faith was. My sis told her she was my daughter and she also told her about the baby mamma situation. I don't mind that she knows cause like it'll be better when she comes back. Wait... I still think she's coming back?

I probably shouldn't think that cause I'll just give up my hopes for nothing if it never happens.. But, what if she does? That's my daily question. Damn I'm still a fool for this girl.

I'm just hopin she ain't trippin though. Rach said that she gonna start chillin with her again cause she hella missed her and they've always been close. I wonder if she told my sis why she broke it off... Hopefully she didn't cause she'll be hella mad. Actually to think about it, she might hella long ago and that's probably why they stopped talking for awhile. But, fuck it. My sis hella likes her so of course she forgave her, I mean if I can then I'm sure my sis can. Also, she knows that I'm still in love with her, I can't stop talking about her when me and her drink or smoke together. One time I was at my house drinkin by myself cause all my homies were busy and also Faith was with actually with her mom for once, but anyways I called my sis when I was hella drunk and started to talk all about Jay and I ended up crying. I don't remember that but my sis told me I did. That's when she realized I was still, well am, in love with that girl.

After I got done doin my thing I tried to call my mom, trynna make things right with her. I try all the time but she pretty much disowned me cause the stupid ass shit I do. That fucks with me even more cause I love my mom. I wish she would just understand the reasons why I do it. The first time I called her she didn't answer, but then I tried again and she finally answered me. At first she told me not to call her again then hung up. About a few minuets after, surprisingly she called me back and said sorry and that I should visit her soon and also cause she wanna see Faith.. Shit, I haven't been that happy for hella long. Man, I hella miss my mom.