That Unnamed Video - Phan (oneshot)

??!

I was bored, browsing the lonely Tumblr world when a notification rang on my phone. A new video was uploaded to AmazingPhil! I turned everything off to be able to enjoy it, like I did every time. 

"Janice!" my mother called from down the hall. "What are you doing?"

"Phil posted a video! Leave me in my dungeon to watch it!"

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"I don't need you to tell me that!" I swear I learned my sarcasm from Dan.

I went to Phil's channel on my computer to see the video. It didn't have a name. It was simply titled "??!" which made no sense. Regardless, it was his video, so it must be good. There was a vaguely familiar thumbtag, one I knew from many years ago - it was 2010!Phil, in his blue flannel and longer, shaggier hair. This wasn't a from recent video. 

I clicked it.

"Awrf," was the first thing I heard, and paused it immediately. Every in-depth Phangirl knew about this. Dan and Phil ruled my life! Of course I knew what it was, and of course I had seen it before! I was breathing heavily.

It was the video - the video that shall not be named: the V-Day video.

My first thought was to find the uploader and force them to take the video down. It was against Phandom law to reupload it or spread it! Anyone who cared for Dan and Phil knew that. I would report them. I could be the one to put a stop to it! I then remembered a ridiculous truth: the video was on AmazingPhil's channel.

Phil uploaded it.

The time of the original *ahem* video wasn't nearly as long as the one before me. This one was longer, leading me to believe that something was tacked on at the end. 

Am I crying or sweating?

I didn't feel like I had too much of a choice. I watched Phil's beautiful video. I knew every line word for word. All the love and effort he put into this came back in my memory. I watched it to the end, repeating the words as he said them:

"Hi Dan, happy Valentine's Day! I know we said we weren't going to do anything for Valentine's Day, but you've gone to bed and left me for five hours with nothing to do, so I made this video because I love you..." and so on up until the very end. With Interrupted By Fireworks playing so mellowly in the background, I was smiling and in tears (again). "I love you so much and I'm so happy to have you in my life." He shaped his hand into a heart. "I love you. Happy Valentine's Day, Dan." That was it. That was the end. I felt an awkward sensation of happiness, but also disgust. It felt wrong to be watching that one video they told us to take down and report. But it was so lovely, still. And it was on Phil's channel, anyway.

I thought it was over. It wasn't.

The screen played a blackout until lighting up to the present day Dan and Phil sitting side by side as always on their sofa. They were obviously trying to hide smiles and were not speaking. There was edited-in cricket noises until Phil finally spoke.

"So," he said, not taking his eyes off the camera. "Do you remember that, Dan?"

"Yes I do." He gave in and burst out laughing.

What the hell is going on?

"So if you didn't recognize that last video from years ago," Phil explained, "it's called the 'Valentine's Day video' and it's from 2010, as you can see by my ridiculous hair and baby face."

"Just pause a moment there," Dan told him. A picture of the old Phil in the video appeared on the side. "Let's take a minute to admire how much Phil has changed through the years."

Phil giggled. "Ok, ok, but let's not get off topic."

Cut scene to a more serious Dan. "So that was a video from a long time ago and that was also the video that caused us so much stress up until twenty twelve, but now –"

"Dan," Phil interrupted. 

My hand flung over my chest and my eyebrows furrowed inward.

"What?" he said, truly confused, and looking at him with heart eyes. 

Phil faced the camera once more. "So, we kind of wanted to say sorry for being a little hostile about the whole thing for so long, but no more secrets, no more hiding, and no more lying."

Dan stared at the camera, like he was staring into my soul. "Yes."

"And if you have no idea what we mean, don't ask. It has been a long, confusing time for all of us," Phil said, a hand over his chest.

What. Is. Happening???

Phil was now staring at Dan. "Is that it?"

"I guess so. So yep! It's all true. Enjoy that, you weird shippers. So I guess we'll say goodb–"

"Wait," Phil said, "Just one more thing to make this coming out video perfect."

"What?"

Phil got off the sofa and on the floor. One knee.

I held my breath. How do you breath again??

"I love you, and I am so happy to have you in my life," Phil told Dan, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a little box.

I paused the video and pinched myself until I almost broke skin. I wasn't dreaming? This isn't real. I pressed play, wiping the rivers spilling from my face.

"Will you marry me, and make Phan canon, but more importantly, make me the happiest person in the world?"

I was crying. Dan was crying. Phil was crying. The Phandom was crying. The Queen was probably crying. Dan nodded. "Yes." Phil got up and hugged him. "I hate you," Dan cried. "I can't believe you did that on video."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Should we edit this out?"

He shook his head. "No, I think it's ok."

Why would you do this to me??? I screamed in my head as I hyperventilated.

They kissed. They kissed. 

"So thanks for watching the most dramatic thing I've ever seen or done," Phil said.

"And thank you for watching me cry on camera. Lovely."

"Bye guys!"

"See you soon, hopefully."

The screen was black. A section of the video resumed.

"Hey Phil," Dan said. "Can we get a dog?"

Phil looked at the camera, and it cut without an answer. 

WHAT WAS THAT??

I went onto Tumblr again, and it was already storming my dashboard. It was dubbed "The new video," and confirmed real. 

I rewatched it. I rewatched it until I had this one memorized, too.

And this was the day was also now known as "The day of eternal tears."

~~~

(Meanwhile, I'm just patiently waiting for 2022 and this to actually happen...)

Special thanks to MissImNotInnocent for the prompt! I hope you enjoyed it!

Love you guys! Thanks for all the support! xxx

~SLP <3