Marina and the Minions: Toot

TOOT, LA LA LA!

After Marina's last album tour, she felt lonely. No one to talk to in her quiet London Apartment, she felt distanced from her friends, relatives, and fans, or what was left of them. It was the summer of 2017, and she needed to make a change for herself to redeem her sanity she once had.
She logged onto her facebook, and scrolled through her newsfeed for a while.
She then came across a peculiar ad.
"LOOKING FOR A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CUTEST, CUDDLIEST CREATURES ON EARTH? GO TO WWW.MINIONMINGLE.COM!"
"Odd..." Marina thought.
She suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline, something she had never felt before. Time was on her side, all her worries were gone. She KNEW she'd enjoy this ride!
She uncomfortably clicked the link and a whole world of opportunity was at her fingertips.
She created an account, MARINALOVESMEN, and logged on. She already got 3 hits within a span of four minutes online.
Her first hit was from a minion named Bob. "Hmmm.." She thought. "He seems cute. But a little fat."
Her next hit was from a minion named Kevin.
"Kevin is cute....but he reminds me of my ex and that's disgusting he he he ;)"
Her last hit was from a minion named Stuart.
"WOAH...his name...it reminds me of Stuart Little. HE'S THE ONE."
Marina messaged him immediatley.
"Hey sexy! Send me a wink and let's chat!"
Marina waited and waited for what seemed hours for him to respond (it was really about 5 minutes.)
Finally, Stuart responded!
"Muak Muak buttom para tú?" Which in english translates to "kiss kiss bottom for you?"
Marina had finally found the love of her life.

[ NEXT week ]
Marina was ready to meet her love Stuart.
AFTERALL! They had been chatting for a week, things were getting REAL serious.
Marina got into her uber, and began shaking violently.
"I hope he likes me! I SHAVED FOR HIM!"
When Marina arrived at the hotel Stuart was staying at, she felt nervous.
"I hope I give off a good impression!"
Marina walked into the lobby, and waited.
She then saw a small, yellow marshmellow man walking down the stairs in a suit and tie.
"Ohh my goodness....I love when men wear suits...he looks so manly...." Marina thought.
Stuart walked right up to her, and asked her to get on one knee.
Feeling awkward, Marina did. Then, Stuart got on top of her leg, and kissed her slobberingly.
Weirdly, Marina felt tingly over the sensation of his flapping lips hitting hers. "His lips remind me of great Canadian geese flocking across the sky, flapping their large wings against the wind" she thought.

Things began to get REAL after this point.