My Something Borrowed

It all started with the success of an event.

After all the stress we got, we decided to celebrate.

So we went to a clubhouse.

We released our stress there.

We drank, ate, and sang songs.

Everyone was happy.

After that night another hang-out happened.

And another and another and another.

So many fun nights that I didn’t notice something had developed.

There was this guy.

He’s handsome with an oozing sex appeal.

He’s charming, friendly and funny.

I idolized him.

He’s like my big brother, I wish I had.

He remembered the small things I said.

He laughed at my jokes. I laughed at his jokes.

He’s always my partner and I was his.

Almost every night, we ride home together.

Until one night as we were riding home, we suddenly stopped.

I didn’t know why.

I was a little tipsy from the ‘hang-out’.

Then he said, “I’m attracted to you.”

I was surprised, shocked even.

I didn’t expect that coming.

I should be happy since he was my crush.

My long time crush, in fact.

But I wasn’t.

Simply because he was already committed, so was I.

I was speechless for a time and didn’t know what to do.

He kissed me and I panicked.

I pushed him away and said no.

After a while he came into his senses.

The effect of alcohol faded away.

He stopped and said sorry.

I was also sorry.

Sorry that our little something was not right.

We were just at the right place at the wrong time.

Before that night ended, we promised not to be awkward with each other.

I said yes, but of course we would be.

Now, we’re friends but our closeness was not like before.

I am still thinking about him sometimes.

What if?

What if he wasn’t committed?

What if I wasn’t committed too?

I will not be able to answer that.

He is my biggest WHAT IF.

He is my SOMETHING BORROWED.

I was happy with the little borrowed time we had.

But it ended there.

I already accepted that he is just SOMETHING BORROWED.