I've been upside down and I've been the wright way round and that's one way I don't wanna be. My mind it's failing and so Is my heart, I'm failing. I can't feel emotions or feelings. Nothing is working I can't get you, I can't get to you. I'm just another monster in a world of humans, all I do is play it safe. I do it for no reason lately it's hard for humans to tell the difference between monsters and humans. All i do is fail, and chase the day. I thought I saw the devil, but all it is,is myself. People have been asking me if I'm gonna be alright and for years now I reply with a I'll be good. But I'm not , grace is just weakness. I'm trying to talk myself into saying that I'll be good and I'll love the world like I should. But all perfect things are things I doubt. For all of the times I never could talk to you were the worst times. But all the times I could talk to you I wasn't ready. A lot of the time I feel as if there has been a hole shot in my heart. I'm afraid who did it will return for more. Your eyes they define you from what I remember and your personality is unforgettable, because your all that I want. Everyone knows it they can see it in the way you change my mood from depressed to happy. But I'm still depressed because most of the time I'm not with you. Sometimes I feel as if I should jump from a bridge that doesn't have water below it. But then my mind stops and thinks what I'm gonna be missing out on, who I marry, if I have any children and even who my first kiss is gonna be with. I wake up in the morning to a mind filled with thoughts and weaknesses. And sadly I don't live alone so I wake up to the sound of my mums voice yelling from down stairs " Get up, you sleepy teenager " and she does this every single morning. Today in Sunday October 4th 2015 last day of the weekend. When I wake up I usually go straight on my phone to see if anyone texted me over the night, no one has text me. It's probably because everyone thinks I'm creepy but i prefer the term psycho, my mind doesn't think like normal people , it's much different.
