ANB Neil One-Shot: Last Words

Last Words

Neil's POV

Eleven years.

Today marks the eleventh year since I've seen her. Since I've seen her smiling face, or felt the touch of her hand holding mine. Don't get me wrong, she didn't pass away. That's not the case at all. But the way that she left me and so coldly avoided saying goodbye still hurts.

Eleven years went by so quickly that I haven't even had the chance to stop and take a breath. Everything hit me so hard that I haven't considered truly moving on from her or maybe even moving to somewhere where I can start over. I feel that if I did, it would all be futile. I've tried to forget her, but her smiling face and warmth remains in my mind no matter how many times I beg it to go away and leave me alone.

I never wanted it to be this way. Ever since we started to see each other, I had high hopes that I would one day push myself far enough to ask her to marry me. I dreamt of starting a family with her and that I would grow old by her side. But I've never been one to express my feelings well, and she caught onto that quickly.

So after a while of being together, she broke it off.

I remember that moment vividly. I was having a pretty bad day and just wanted to get home and go to bed. She wasn't going to have that though. She asked me what was wrong, and I didn't tell her. I could tell that something had snapped within her. She glared at me with hard eyes and told me how it was, not holding anything back or making any effort to put it lightly.

She told me that I stuck to myself too much, and that I never opened up to her. She said that she couldn't be with someone like that.

I wanted to beg her to give me some more time, and to understand that it's not easy for me to let someone in. But my pride and the fact that I could tell that she had already decided on this decision a long time ago stopped me from saying anything.

Time passed, and I avoided her at any cost. I pretended to be sick on festival days, and I closed my shop early when I knew that she would be coming to buy something. Seeing her while she was running around town was one thing, talking to her when she came to my shop was another, but those unintentional moments of eye contact are what broke me apart inside.

I've never been able to understand why she broke it off with me so bluntly and coldly. Yes, I've always been known as someone for their sharp tongue and rude comments. When I first met her, I treated her as I did anyone else. But she was always someone who was known for her kindness and patience. No one was surprised when she made an honest effort to get to know me.

She did get very far in her efforts quite honestly. She got far enough to melt my cold exterior and start to break down the wall that I built up over the years. But she gave up right when she had almost completely broke through and left me alone, all of my hopes of our future destroyed.

Time went on, and nothing changed between us. I avoided her, and she avoided me. Every time I happened to see her I wanted to ask her to give me one more chance, but I never did. To this day, I regret it. I especially regretted it when something suddenly happened that completely changed my life around.

She disappeared.

It all happened in stages. First, she didn't show up at my shop around 11:00 AM on Monday when she normally came to buy chicken feed. The next day, I didn't see her running around town. I was starting to get a bit concerned, so I forced myself to stop by her farm to see if she was just hard at work. The sight before me, however, is one that I never expected to see.

Her crops had been untended to and were starting to wilt. Her animals, that were casually making their way in and out of the barn, were hungry and dirty due to the obvious lack of care. I would have been angry, but it made no sense to me. It was completely unlike her to ignore the needs of her farm. So I asked around, but everyone said that they hadn't seen her.