Roof tops,
Yellow shirts,
PNE's songs,
rainy season,
spaghettis and brownies,
fiesta,
guitars,
cats,
New Year's Eve
All of these had one common denominator.
These things help me to lingers the memories I had with you..
I know I should have move on with my life and buried it long time ago. And I think it never cost a thing to you anyway. But for me, those things help me to realize that I am capable of loving. That I am capable of a selfless love. But the painful realization come along with it also,and that is. Maybe..
I don't have the capability to be loved by someone like you..
It still pains me reminiscing my memories with you.But the happiness it brings to me can kill a thousand heartaches.
Rooftops
You don't have any idea how I feel every time I see rooftops. It always takes me to my young-and-happily-inlove-with-you era.
My happy days.
My kilig moments.
My "happy pill".
Because somewhere in our past, you made me feel how to be noticed.
Although, I'm not sure if you were really then notice me or you just have no choice coz I was the only one who were there. But whatever it is, still I can feel the weakness of my knees when you call my name then and ask what am I doing there in that awe hour;
The fast heart beat when you sat beside me; and the magical feeling when the two of us just sat there without any conversation at all. You don't have any idea how a simple scene like that affects my whole. It was just so romantic that the man I hugely admired of, was sitting beside me and breathing the air that I breathe.
Yellow shirts.
You used to wore it every Fridays. And I really don't know why I only see you who can fit the yellow shirt nicely.It seems that others wore it in a very lousy manner. That only you can give a justice fit to that simple yellow shirt. But that is not the reason why it became one of my memorabilia of you to me. You know why?
Didn't you remember, one late afternoon of one of the Fridays of my past? You were sitting at our neighbor's store bench. You were wearing your yellow shirt and that cutest smile in my entire existence. You were then seem so happy and I don't have any idea about what was the reason behind but it cause me to die for a seconds and be out of my mind. A sweetest heart attack just killed me then.
And out of nowhere,you came near to me and said "ba't ang suplada mo?"
Those words caught me off-guard. I wanted to replied that I wasn't. That I just can't hold the emotions inside me and trying myself to be sane in that insanely-one-million-dollar moment.
When everyone was teasing us then , I tried to gather all the strength in me to save myself in that unexpected scene. Without any neurons in my head, I utters the most insensitive words, "ang yabang mo!". I didn't know where it came from but I know, I was so stupid to say that. And that's why I just walked away and keep myself be a distance away from you.
But I hope you knew then that it wasn't the real words I wanted to say. That I was too stiff and naive for a thing like that. That I wasn't ready to a thing that I myself don't know. That I overthink. That I over analyze everything. That I was just trying to protect myself for the unknown thing. That I was. Maybe. I plain stupid girl who ruins our maybe-beautiful-beginning.
Parokya Ni Edgar songs
Do you have any idea how I love to be awaken by your PNE's songs?
That I go to school early because I was so energetic to get up in mornings and enjoys your loud music?
Do you have any idea that every time you start to play your songs,I can't help to imagine that it is your way to wake me up?
That your trying to help me not to have a single tardiness in my school's card?
