If you ask me who I plan
To be when I'm older,
I couldn't tell you...
But I can tell you how I've grown.
I used to lay in bed all day,
Never cared about anything.
Didn't care about family, friends,
Or even myself...
Depression had its grip on me.
Always lurking in the shadows.
Never strayed too far and was there,
Always there, whispering.
Anxiety held onto my tongue.
Kept me from speaking up,
From speaking out.
Kept me from getting help.
Body issues held me from loving.
Held me back from being loved...
Because it's favorite thing to say?
"Who could ever love a fat girl."
Suicidal tendencies kept me trying...
Trying to vanish...
Trying to escape...
Trying to say goodbye...
But now..?
Suicidal tendencies have ran to hide,
Afraid to show its face to me,
Shaken with fear for the day
I decide to fight back.
Body issues disappeared,
And I allowed myself to be loved.
All I hear now is,
"You are perfect the way you are."
Anxiety sidestepped,
Allowing me to get help for myself,
Allowing me to live my life,
Not cowering in fear.
Depression released its nails,
And let me finally breathe.
It's still there somedays in the shadows,
But now, I'M in control.
My problems haven't gone away for good,
But they no longer hold me back
From family, friends, love..
I no longer fear to live my life.
If you ask me what I plan
To be when I'm older,
I couldn't tell you...
But I can tell you how far I've come.
