Perfectly Misanthropic

I'm here without you Babay. Blah, Blah, Blah, this song sucks. I'm pretty sure I didn't understand how anyone could stand Three Doors Down in 2003, how the hell can they stand them still? And not to mention, it's the same goddamn song that's been playing for ten years. Such, is a woe of a broke 20 something working in a coffee shop, I guess. Yep, my life is great.

"Excuse. Me."

I look up from the radio sitting in front of me. At the front of the counter, a woman is patiently waiting for me to take her order. Her furrowed eyebrows and tight friendly scowl tell me, "Go ahead, take your time. Change that horrible song, Franz. I'll wait." No, no kind lady. Such is a the duty of a coffee wench to take your order on time and with deliberate speed. Thank you for your humble sacrifice, but there is no need. I grab my order pad and meander over to her. She lets out huge huff and raises those eyebrows. Those sexy eyebrows.

"What can I get you?"

"Well, I can tell you what Coffee Brew can do for me. They can get some employees that do their job," A tight smile forms on the woman's face. It pulls the crow's feet around her eyes into little half arches. "Anyway I'd like a no fat soy latte. Y'know, if you manage to make time for it. I know you have a busy schedule of playing with the radio." The woman hands me the money to pay for it, and I hand her back her change.

I repeat her order back to her, just to make sure I heard her right. I wouldn't want to screw up this valuable, kind, patron's order, would I? She wanders to the left side of the shop and sits herself down. The woman is watching me, carefully.

"M'am, your order is ready." The woman walks up to the counter, and reaches out to grab her latte. I smile broadly at the woman. "I apologize about the wait earlier. To make up for it, I made the latte with extra love. Also, I considering putting insta-bitch in it, but then assumed you'd already had some this morning. So I didn't. I hope it's not a big deal, sorry." The look on the woman's face is somewhere between shocked and furious. She is silent for a moment, while she taps on her cup, locking eyes with me. I maintain my smile. That winning employee of the month smile.

"Excuse me, can you repeat that?"

I nod, quickly. "Of course, m'am. I made your latte with extra-"

The woman cuts me off, "I don't know if you're stupid or you just don't care, but I can tell you this; I am NEVER returning to Coffee Brew again. Consider the consequence of your snarky little comment to be the loss of a customer." She shakes her head and laughs, cocking her head to the side. Then she spins around on her heel, stomping toward the front door. My friend...thing...Charlotte walks into the shop as the angry woman is making her way out. The woman pushes past Charlotte into the afternoon air. Outside I can see her on her cell phone, yelling and making quick glances at me.

Charlotte looks back quickly at the woman, then at me. She gestures and cocks her head to the side. Oh Charlotte, always the innocent one. Annoyingly innocent.

"Hi Franz!" She smiles, her purple eyes are wide. "I brought you a cupcake." Charlotte pulls a Tupperware container out of her bag. Today, the Charlotte getup is a pink and white polka shirt that is fitted at the top and flares around the waist with white skinny jeans and pink flats. The white matches the blonde in Charlotte's hair.

"Uh, thanks." I pull the container close to me, and pry off the lid. Charlotte's perpetual happiness irritates me to no end. She's the kind of person that would put a sugar cookie to shame. It's like someone flipped a switch and stuck her on "cheerfully nice" mode. But, what can I do? She's the closest thing to a friend I have and god knows that she doesn't have any other friends. It'd break her heart if I told her to go away, plus I wouldn't have someone to bring me cupcakes every day at work. So, even though we absolutely hate Charlotte, it's best that we keep her around. "You know you don't have to tell me that every day? You've been bringing me cupcakes everyday for months, now." I bite into my piece of frosting coated heaven. It was more than worth keeping a nuisance around for this.

I think the part that most bothers me about Charlotte is how simple she is. Almost like a child.

Her eyes are wide as she asks the question of questions. Oh, Charlotte. So predictable.

"So who was that woman?"

"Some lady, I guess."

"Did you say something to her or...?"

I shrug and finish my cupcake. Charlotte continues interrogating me for a few minutes. Suddenly, she whips her head around to the clock across the room.

"I gotta go. Crap. Break was over like five minutes ago." I say nothing as she rushes out.

The next thing I remember is waking up in my apartment.