I was diving in a golf cart when a devil took the jumped into the seat next to me, his long pointed tail wriggling obscenely behind him.
“Fret and fear; despair. Jesus will not return,” it said. “The wonder of your God is abandoning you.”
I flexed my toes in my cleats. Gout ground in my joints. I asked it if this was a new development, or if the initial reports had been incorrect.
It said I didn’t know its true name and thus had no power to make demands of a denizen of Hell, and that I was bound to be consumed by the fire of the Endless Pandemonium.
I told it that was no way to make friends.
