Lost In The Depth Of Myself

So it came to the isolation that I am in.
Looking to myself in order
to find the way it all started.
This conflict , desperate
apetite for something more and better .
Could it be that I am empty from inside , cold ,
or maybe lost in the waves of my struggles ?
Could it be that I am alone in this lonely road ,
or seek joy at any cost?
This non-ending fight
Which I am living deep inside,
that blistering cold I feel inside,
that draw the illusion of myself yet with black colour.

I wish it were so simpler than this,
to live through life smelling roses and watching rainbows happily.
But suddenly out of the blue life hits you hard and blacken your life , crushing everything beneath your boots.

Dreams prevent us from insanity , yet remain elusive throughout this race of life .

Mistakes are made and that's normal since we are human and we DO make mistakes , but I am carrying heavy luggage which are called regrets .
The achievements I did are rays of light, sudden and temporary , which beautify my life before darkness comes.

What about Love? Love is bitter and unfair , but it is the food that keeps us alive.
All the time it feeds us up, only to starve us later.
She mmmmm yeah she is special .
She was and still is my sanity .
Our love is a ticking time bomb, nothing to hold on to, a bubble that could burst anytime.
Have you ever whispered at night "oh dear God I love her " ?
Have you ever looked at her sparkly eyes and said a prayer ?
Have you ever loved her so much to cry for her ?
Yes, she affected me this way . Why are you wondering? She has that thing that occupies me and the keys for the locks of my heart.

Alone is not a bad way to be, not to me.
It clears up my head .It's more like a lifestyle .
Call me fearful or psychotic it's totally okay , but remember I am the one used to walk alone in the darkness when it comes not you.