“That was Mary Gilbert’s best friend,” Rick whispered to me as a glum, blond-haired girl walked by our table. She had a seemingly out-of-place sad look on her face; a face that was just supposed to be happy. “I heard she was the one who found her dead.” He finished while going back to shoving a sandwich in his mouth like he wasn’t just talking about our dead classmate. It amazed me how people could be so insensitive, a girl in our grade died this past summer, and everyone was already over it like it was no big dead. I guess not a lot of people knew her before she died, so they didn’t care when she was gone. But this girl obviously did care, and she looked pretty destroyed over it. I imagined having to start high school with out my best friend and I shivered at the thought.
“What’s her name?” I asked Rick. He gave me a quizzical look as he continued to eat. “Mary’s friend?” I exclaimed.
“Sarah something,” he mumbled through a mouthful of food. I glanced at Sarah as she stared vacantly down at the table, with girls conversing all around her. She seemed so sad, and I had this weird desire to make her smile. I bet she has a really cute smile. Rick hit my arm, “Dude, don’t be so creepy” he advised me.
I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest and said in a defensive voice, “I am not being creepy,” the guys at my table laughed.
“You were staring right at her,” Mike accused. I shook my head no and put some chips in my mouth, and went back to meaningless conversation.
***
I was sitting in Biology later when Sarah walked through the door. She kept her head low and walked to the very last row. I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from turning around to look at her. I didn’t want to be creepy so I just sat there looking straight ahead. Then Hannah walked in wearing short jean shorts and a low cut white tea. Her blond hair was pin straight, and her eyes covered in a veil of mascara. She slid into the seat next to me.
“Hey Chase!” she said with an obnoxious amount of pep in her voice. I looked at her and gave her a half smile, but that was half a smile too much. “So how have you been? I haven’t seen you since Mark’s party,” She babbled on. I was an absolute idiot for kissing her, and I really wished I hadn’t. She has called and texted me all summer, and I don’t know how to be nice about it.
“I’ve been good. Football started.” I murmured. She looked at me like that was the most exciting news she has ever heard.
“I’m really excited for your game this Friday!” she said again with way too much excitement, I almost felt bad to correct her.
“Varsity is Friday. I am on JV, and we play on Saturday.” She just smiled again and shook her while saying ahhh. A mean looking, middle-age women walked in as the bell rang and introduced herself as Mrs. Henderson.
“I already have a seating chart, so get up,” she says signaling the same with her hand. A few people moaned but everybody just shuffled out of their seats. She went down the row assigning people seats. About halfway through she said “Mary Gilbert,” and pointed to a seat. Everybody fell silent as she stood there in confusion. “Does she not go here anymore?” she asked. Wow, she really didn’t know.
“She died.” Spoke a soft, feminine voice. I followed it across the room and my eyes landed on Sarah. I couldn’t even deny for a second that she was beautiful even without a trace of emotion on her face. Right away, I noticed her big deep-set blue eyes; they were like the ocean on a sunny day. She had a heart-shaped face with delicate features. Her wavy hair flowed from her head like gold. A few freckles scattered here and there. She was perfect.
“ Oh dear. Well, then Sarah Jackson sit here” She said while scribbling something on her attendance sheet. Everybody turned to Sarah as she slowly made her way to the seat that should’ve belonged to her dead best friend. “Chase Hartman” she said while singling to the seat behind her. My heart quickened as I made my way there. Sarah had her face dropped down, and her full attention to the desk. I wanted to say something to her, anything.
But I didn’t. And I barely talked to her for the next 3 years. But I watched; I watched her get better to the point where she was basically normal. Her face that was supposed to smile started to smile, and she didn’t look at the floor as much. And every year we grew more and more different and it became harder to talk to her. She was quiet, good mannered, and from what I heard hilarious, but I wouldn’t know. We only had first semester freshman biology together. I started to party and meet new girls and eventually my flash crush on Sarah faded away like a ghost I wasn’t even sure I had seen.
It was the summer before senior year; I was going on a Europe trip with my school. I had missed most of the meetings, but I still thought I was aware of who was going. You could only imagine my surprise when I saw a girl walk in through the airport door with wavy blond hair, deep-set blue eyes, and a fitting smile on her face.
