Dark & Cold Hearted

'Chapter 1 - Dark & Cold Hearted

Jordyn... ❤

August 18.

I CAN'T STAND THAT BITCH. She always talking negative about everybody. Hell no, I'm not a hater but I'll show a bitch what these hands do and keep her in place like a real chick do. The name is Jordyn. Jordyn James. Some people call me Jo. The realist chick in the game. In BSH( Brenda Scott High), chicks always got something to say and niggas always acting like dogs. Deven was like the best nigga in the school. Like, these girls don't understand that he was the finest nigga in the school and boy, nobody couldn't have him. We've been talking to each other since middle school and I think he's the one for me but I don't think he see that. He has been distant lately. Like, stop texting and calling me. We had a thing for each other but I guess he didn't see that. I had feelings for him so bad. But I've been hearing people say that he was talking to other girls when he was talking to me and people told me that he said we never talked and everything I told them was a lie and I couldn't believe what he just told them and had the nerve to tell them that when we had a lot going on with each other he said it was lie. He said I was his side piece and he just threw me onto the freaking road and let me get by a fucking truck.

The thing is that I stopped talking to boys all together because they are liars. I always thought about dating a girl but I'm not really sure about that. But I wanted something more than just sex. I wanted love and someone to care for me when I need them. I didn't ask to turn out this way. People turned me this way and I hated it. I was actually was a good girl and following the rules. But I lost all that when I got raped by my own father and it took all my dignity away. I lost my soul, heart and body. I didn't know what to do. I had a baby by him and I didn't want to keep it but mama told me it was my fault to have my legs open in first place. I always hated my mother. She wasn't a mother at all. She acted like she didn't have a child. She put me out and I had to struggle on my own with my baby girl, Tanti. " Fuck you, dumb ass hoe. You never was my mother. I don't understand why you gave birth to me when you really knew you didn't want me!", I yelled at her. I didn't give a damn. She losted her damn mind if she thinks she talking about becoming a parent. " Girl, you better watch your damn mouth when you talking to me! You wanna the fucking truth?! huh? Since I'm not your damn mother! I was the same way with you. I didn't want you cause my father rape me and I couldn't take it anymore. I did everything in my power to get rid of you but I couldn't cause I loved you too damn much to that to my daughter." She yelled before taking her next breath. Mama was too mad when I said that. I was so confused with the whole thing. I'm the daughter of mama's daddy and so my baby is his daughter too. He thinks it's okay but I don't. I was so upset with it and broke down into tears. I wanted my own place and started working on my own but she want to tell me what to do. Hey, I know I'm 17 but I can work and do things on my own.

I had a crush on this boy named, Terence. He was brown skin with pretty eyes and he looked so handsome. He's 6'1 and plays basketball, baseball, football and track. We've been friends for a while and I think he kinda like me but I'm not sure if he do. I didn't want to be rejected and left being hurt. I think he know that I like him cause it's so obvious that I do. This girl name Ty had the fucking nerve to talk to Terence when she knew that I liked him first and I hated that cause she was cool at first until she started spreading lies about other girls and even me. She said I was being a hoe and sucked up every boy but she didn't have proof that I did and she was caught in her act. I wanted to beat that hoe ass so bad that she wouldn't even breathe. Not be rude but I beat that hoe ass and she was in the hospital. I was pressed with charges. It started in the cafeteria when she looked at me with a stank ass look. I saw her whispering to her little groupies, probably spreading lies again. I got up and walked up to her. Looked at her like she was crazy and started hitting her ass. Nobody didn't stop me. Her little groupies just stood there cause they didn't want to get their asses beat either. The security guards pulled me off her and she started breathing hard. " WHY THE FUCK YOU DO THAT FOR DUMB ASS BITCH!!!!", She yelled at me, out of breathe. I walked back over to her and punched her in the freaking throat and she fell out. I walked out the school and went home. Mama looked at my face and got up. I moved my face to the left to avoid her touching me. I didn't care really about the beat up face I had but I know she got what she deserved. The bitch knew better.

I had no friends at all but I wanted at least a real hood chick that's down for me but I never had that before I don't think I will get that. But with my attitude and smart ass mouth I won't have nobody. But I have to make this money so I can support for my child.