Crying in Korean

하나

You sat on the couch, gripping your pillow tightly as you watched the television in the living room. You heard Sungjae's voice begin the Inkigayo broadcast, and you watched and waited. Waited for the group that you've been dying to see on stage for the past month. GOT7.

Why were you so obsessed over this group of young adult men, singing and rapping on a stage in a sea of fangirls? Because your boyfriend of seven years, Im Jaebum was the leader of this group of males. You watched him as he danced onstage with a mic in hand and power erupting out of his vocal chords and into a beautiful melody. You lost it. Your heart raced, squeals erupted from your mouth and you felt as if you were falling in love with that man all over again.

There was this feeling like you were trapped under some form of spell where you only paid attention to him. Suddenly your phone vibrated, but you waited to check it after the performance. It was probably another scandal about both you and Wang Jackson, which you've been ignoring for a long period of time. Even though you ignored the tabloids and articles complaining about you being in a relationship with Jackson, it isn't completely inaccurate about your abnormal relationship.

Three years ago, you had began to hang out with Jackson quite often as Jaebum was busy filming for his drama and you were both JYP trainees. Yes, there were certain things that happened and certain feelings that developed for Jackson that shouldn't have been, especially because you were in a relationship that began three years prior, but that wasn't the journalists' information that could be thrown into the sea that way. Just because a relationship had been formed between you and Jackson, that didn't mean you wanted Jaebum to find out about the entire thing.

You gazed at the TV, watching Jaebum, and sometimes shifting your focus to Jackson. The song ended and the next group began to perform, giving you time to check whatever was sent to your phone.

Jackson:
I'm coming over.

You sent back an okay before quickly changing the channel and rushing to change out of your old pajamas and into something more suitable. You heard the doorbell ring as you finished pulling your hair into high ponytail and nearly tripping over yourself as you jogged to the door, letting Jackson in.

Soon the two of you were sitting together on the couch, watching some drama, with you leaned on his arm. You, however, weren't paying your full attention to the drama,  pondering over what you've been trying to sort out fo the past couple of years.

나는 재범 더 사랑하나요? 아니면 내가 잭슨 더 사랑한다?
Do I love Jaebum? Or do I love Jackson more?

You looked over at him who was watching the drama silently but with a smile. He had his hair pulled back into a bun and the reflection of the screen made him look prettier than usual.

나는 가람 나쁜가요?
Am I a bad person?

You took a hold of his hand and leaned over to give him a kiss, which he didn't deny, but instead welcomed warmly.

... 이제 이미지를 파괴시킬까요?
... Will this ruin my image?

You felt your phone vibrating but you ignored it, assuming that it was another scandal coming to haunt you for a few weeks and die down afterwards. Jackson had your full attention and you had finally gotten him to focus on you rather than the drama that you were supposed to be watching.

A while later you heard a knock at the door and time seemed to stand on edge for just a moment. You quickly moved away from Jackson and soon after heard Jaebum's voice call your name from the other side of the wall. Panic began to set in with both of you, and you pushed him into your bedroom closet. You rushed to open the door and you put on a smile for him, giving him a hug and closing the door behind him. Jaebum looked serious, as if he could see through your fake smile, and as if he knew everything. You felt extremely nervous as he opened his mouth to speak to you.

He spoke to you in a low voice. Oh God, he knew everything. His voice shook and soon your deceitful smile began to fade and turn into a bit-lip of nervousness and sadness.

"Why did you do it?"

You told him not to ask you that, but he repeated it again louder, and afterward you didn't say anything. He turned around to leave, but you desperately grabbed onto his sleeve. Jaebum pulled away from you. He soon left your apartment loudly, leaving you in an eerie silence. At this point you didn't want to let Jackson out so that he could see the pain and regret staining your face. You heard the door to the room open anyway, but you didn't turn around to face Jackson.

You began to notice tears fall down your cheeks and onto the hard wood floor beneath you. Making a barely audible dripping sound mixed the sounds of breathing. Nobody moved, everyone was in silence. "Why the hell did I ever meet you?" you said through your tears, turning around to face Jackson, who had a blank expression. You wanted to yell at him more, but you knew it wasn't entirely his fault. Soon the silence was broken by your sons and a string of apologies of how much you regretted getting him into this. You brought your hands to your face and walked up to him slowly, leaning your head on his chest before you felt his arms wrap around you.

As you both stood there motionlessly and in silence, you began to think of the answers to the questions that you constantly ask yourself.

Do I love Jaebum? Or do I love Jackson more?
나는 둘 다와 사랑하고 있습니다.
I am deeply in love with both.

Am I a bad person?
예.
Yes.

Will this ruin my image?
난 끝장...
I'm screwed...

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안녕 여러분~ Here's the first part of a new GOT7 fix, all thanks to lexylyna. Basically we're having a competition to see who can write the saddest story so please go read her story Where Did My Voice Go and vote for your favorite please! 고마워요 여러분~