The Theory of You and Me

1 - Oasis In The Night

Here's the thing;

Nobody calls me at 3:20 AM. No one does. I mean, what kind of sick bastard calls an innocent sleeping soul at 3 in the fucking morning? I don't recall summoning the demon and telling it to wake me up at such an unholy hour.

But then again, if nobody called me at 3:20 AM, I would have been long dead by now.

Allow me to explain.

I heard a series of marimba tones which were accompanied by the occasional vibration patterns. I didn't even have to yell "Eureka" to figure out that it was my beat up cellphone. I knew someone was calling me. I just groaned and covered my ears with my pillow, hoping it would go away.

Surprisingly, my phone stopped ringing and I sighed a sigh of relief and continued with my drooling. But I was taken aback when I heard it ring again. I shut my eyes tighter and laid as still as rock.

To my horror, the ringing never stopped. It just kept on vibrating like a vibrator on weed and it kept on ringing.

"5 more minutes!" I yelled to my cellphone with my head still under the pillow. But it never stopped.

I was at the verge of murdering someone when I hastily sat up and grabbed my cellphone to answer it with complete anger. I didn't even bother looking at the caller ID. I just wanted it to stop.

I instantly said something before the person from the other line could.

"Listen, bitch," I said, gritting my teeth. "Girl, unless you don't want to get cut, may I suggest you to shut the fuck up and let me sleep, okay?"

The other line was silent and I was a ticking bomb. I felt the need to end the call since it was pretty useless. I was about to end it when the caller spoke.

"I'm a boy." the caller said.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?"

"I'm a boy. You called me a girl, and I'm not." he said. I swear, my vein was about to pop.

I was exasperated. "Do I look like I give a shit?" I said.

"Look, I'll cut to the chase. You need to get your ass up from your bed immediately. And when I say immediately, I mean right now." he said through the other line.

"Listen, kid. I do-"

"I'm 18. I'm legal." he said, cutting me off.

"Thanks for pointing it out," I said. "Listen, kid, it's 3 in the morning and I'd understand if you're bored and just decided to mess with people's lives, but interrupting my hibernation is really inhumane. So, good night, okay?"

I was about to drop the call, again, but he spoke abruptly, again.

"Unless you want to get cut," he was mimicking me. That little bastard. "you have to listen to what I have to say."

I snickered. "You sound like my ex but okay, carry on."

"You have to get up, right now." Sighing, I stood up from my bed.

"I can sense you're up now. Okay, that's good. At least now I know you'll listen," he said.

"Now that I know you're safe, you'll be okay. Just don't go back to your bed. Just stand there, far away just for 2 minutes." My eyebrows furrowed again.

"Wait, wait. Hold on. What exactly is going to happen in 2 minutes?" I said, my hand on my hip.

"You would've had 5 minutes to spare but I guess you have a knack for delaying time, don't you?" he said. I could feel that he was smirking. God, I already hate him even though I don't know him.