this story has yet not been edited, please point out the fault's.
ejoy.=]
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finding my feet
I sat in front of the grave , Surrounded by snow.
clutching a white rose reading the name engraved on the stone over and over.
''Keith Parker''
Been sitting here for hours looking at the grave crying now and then.freezing.
Only wearing a tank top and PJ pant's , as soon as I woke up I came here , I do that a lot.
He was my best and only friend , no els wanted to befriend the weird girl.
but not that I want now all the people in my life or were in my life had wither been hurt or hurt me.
Putting the rose on the grave hoping the wind wont blow it away. I'v always brought him a white rose as pure as his soul. That's what I loved about him.
I stood up and headed for my small wrecked apartment , to change my clothes and head for my job at the library.
Before Keith passed away I used to work at a cafe shop but this way I won't have interact with people every two second's.
After my shift was over , I went back to my apartment to take a shower then try to fall asleep to escape the nightmare called my life.
I blew out a breath watching it as it became a fog while the water hit my bare skin.
as I mentioned before it's winter , beginning of winter it's been snowing for the past couple of days.I keep my window's open all the time and shower in cold water.
If Keith was buried six feet under not one bit warmth in his body why should I be?
I wish I could see him sometimes, all the time, even if someone who just looked like him, his family moved from here couple of days after he died , he looked just like his dad sometime's I think that's a good thing for me for the wwhole dealing with his death and all but other time's it pain's me that I will never be able to see his face without it being printed on a paper.
turning off the water I wrapped a towel around me shielding my body. as I passed the mirror I saw a glimps of myself my dark brown dull eye's that never lit up again.empty.
but I believed that he is somewhere better. somewhere off being his happy self.
I mean he had to be somewhere els why els would we have soul's.
then it would be pointless.
I fell into the only place that I could hear him talk to me and it would feel real.my dreams.
I woke up the next day wanting to be happy but I never could control my emotions.
I'd rather be numb since I couldn't feel any happy emotion's then what's the use in just sinking deeper and deeper as you go?
I brushed my teeth just to repeat the same day as yesterday.
I never meant for my life to be like this.
at first I thought that you could choose your life as you want it I knew of course you had to work hard for it but never thought you could sink this low, and wish you never even tried.
and I know there are other problems in the world and more important but when it's your problem it effect's you most , or maybe I'm just selfish like that.
