I'm wide awake at 2:32 in the morning wondering what you're doing.
most likely your a sleep,
most likely you're not thinking of me,
most likely you're doing something else.
my only issue is I can't stand the thought of you not thinking about me.
I can't stand the thought you not being with me
but I don't have a choice I have to live with it I have to deal with it.
why ?
because you're not mine .
I can't claim you as my own and I never will ,and I've accepted that.
but still I lie awake at 2:32 in the morning because im just left to wonder what it'd be like.
What it be like with you .
mybe that one day we can have a family ,
two little boys and little girl altogether and a nice house in
Georgia.
Do you wonder about stuff like that?
Because i do.
It's now 2:38 in the morning and I'm still wide awake thinking about you
thinking about us.
thinking about what we could do.
now I know the way you feel
and i know the way you stand on life
and what it is .
I know that we're not friends.
and i know that were barely
pals.
but what I don't know where we
stand..
which is really complicated because every now and then we get together and have a great
time .
but every time after that we just
don't talk at all.
that's okay because when we're together its like no time has passed from the last
and everything is right with tht
world.
eventually that time space is
going to get larger
and the gap is going to get better
eventually I'll never see you
again .
there was a point in time when
your mom put you down and
never pick you back up again.
and there will be a point in time where I put the phone down with you I will never pick it back up
again.
I just don't know when that will
be .
but I know its soon because I know you won't come back to this damn town.
I know that once you leave your gone.
and I know that I can't go after you .
but I'm sitting here at 2:40 in the morning because .
I still love you .
but what do I know about love I'm only 16.
but 16 is just number.
An irrelevant number that in 2 years won't me nothing.
but you're 17 you've got a year left and your free.
Free of the Stockade we call adolescence.
your not a minor anymore
and by the time you are 18 i'll still be 17.
I'll Still be stuck in this black hole.
But you'll be free.
and the thing that's going to bring me the most happiness and joy in this hell I've lived through is when your off doing what you love .
for all of the reasons you are leaving.
I just wish you could see how much it mean to me if you'd stay.
but I can't force you .
I can't even make you think twice .
but that's okay .
because my time with you has been nice.
its 2:48 in the morning and now all I'm doing is lying awake crying
and thinking of you.
