Scalebird

Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: This story is and will remain throughout the story, a book about the struggles of having an eating disorder. I am not, in any way trying to glamorize anorexia or anything of that nature. This book was made to show the horrible side of both these disorders. Some chapters will have cutting and/or drugs and/or sex. I will put another disclaimer in the beginning of these chapters. Again, don't get butthurt and just don't read it if you don't want to. I feel that there weren't enough stories that showed the ugly side of life and I felt the need to provide them. People need to know the world isn't just sunshine and rainbows.

'''''''''

Amelia smiled as she looked out of her classroom window. She wasn't smiling because of the test her teacher was talking about, no, she was now 1 week on living off of just water. She couldn't believe it she had already lost 15 pounds and she wasn't about to stop! She didn't even feel that sick! She was a bit dizzy and she had to hold her stomach in to try and keep her stomach from rumbling. She noticed most of the class(including Mrs. Simmons) was looking at her.

She snapped out of her daze "Um what?" She questioned her teacher who was shaking her head at the girl as if to shame her.

"Ms. Porter why don't you grace us with your blessed opinion on the discussion 'Is being anorexic/bulimic a choice?' Most of your peers have come to the conclusion that it is not a choice but a disease of the mind. Just like you cannot choose if you get a cold you cannot choose to have these disorders. What, might I ask, is your opinion?"

I winced, I hated talking about my 'Diet' with people. Not that they'd know anyway. I'd never actually admit to having these disorders so I don't think that anyone will ever find out. "Umm I think that it is a choice. Some people want the results both anorexia and bulimia bring and understand the consequences they bring" I said clarifying my side of the opinion. I knew what I was getting into when I chose this and I accepted it. This is just what I chose to become. The class seemed to be satisfied with this answer and they all turned back to Ms. Simmons.

Then, this one guy, Dean, I think his name is, scoffed. Clearly offended or opposed to my opinion. "Is there something you want to say Mr. Williams?" Said Ms. Simmons excited that someone actually gave a crap about her stupid discussion.

"I just feel that if it actually is a choice then it is an extremely stupid choice. For someone to actually decide to deprive their body of essential nutrients that are ESSENTIAL to your body. Keyword: ESSENTIAL. As in your body NEEDS them. As in to SURVIVE!" Dean practically yelled at me.

I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. What does he know about essential nutrients. I am literally 95 pounds and he probably weighs 3 of me, maybe even more. All he does is stuff his face with food. People like that honestly disgust me. How can they so willingly gorge themselves with food knowing that that will cause their bodies to grow even more?

"Well you probably know so much about essential nutrients right?!!" I said sarcastically, earning me a laugh from the class. He scowled at me before answering.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked offended. I scoffed at this. We all know he knew what I meant. A two year old could figure that out.

"Oh so you're fat and mentally retarded. Wow you are just the total package aren't you! You must have all the girls after you." I retorted.

"I will GLADY take ANY other girl so long as she's not you're skinny ass, thin legged, STD infected, self conceited bitchy self" He freaking roared at me, getting up from his desk. The class was just eating this up.

"Oh yeah, well lord knows I would NEVER EVER in my wildest dreams EVE-" I started to respond but was cut off by the bell signaling the end of class. This was our last period class before our pep rally so everyone shot out of the class. Dean and I were the last to leave. It's pretty hard to pack your things while shooting death glares across the room. As we were leaving Mrs. Simmons shook her head in disappointment and asked us to come in after the assembly to tell us about an assignment that would make her 'Forget' about the incident.

I groaned, this was going to suck, and all because Dean couldn't just respect my opinion. I ran to the girl's locker room because I was a cheerleader and we had a routine to do after the principal's speech.

I walked into the locker room and as I passed through the rows of lockers to try and get to mine all I could see were groups of girls turning to look at me and then back at their friends whispering about me. From what I heard they thought it was really snobby of me to be late. I rolled my eyes at them, this'll all be over soon I'm graduating this year and I'm getting as far away from this plastic cookie-cutter town as possible.

I reached where my friends were changing and began to change into my uniform, this was our very first practice with our actual uniforms so everyone was complimenting everyone. Since I was head cheerleader my uniform was sleeveless while everyone else's had long sleeves and turtlenecks. I put on my uniform and I immediately felt all eyes on me. "Mimi you look great!" my best friend Abby cried. I smiled, Abby was always over exaggerating.

"Thanks Abs but I look huge in this shirt" I said pointing at my stomach which was outlined by the super tight fabric.

Abby opened her mouth to protest but was interrupted by Coach Jake yelling at us to hurry it up. He was my absolute favorite coach because he always pushed us to work harder and lose more weight, he helped me start my diet out and gave me tips on how to make the diet easier for me.

We eventually all got out of the locker room and started our routine. Our first routine went by flawlessly. The second one however, was just awful. We started out by getting the crowd to chant 'WE CAN'T HIDE OUR BEAR PRIDE!!" (we were the Glenview High School Bears).

So we got started on that when this one girl, Jessa fell down. She wasn't in the air or anything she was just standing and had managed to fall. I looked at her expecting to see her get up, most likely an embarrassed look on her face. But she didn't move. At this point the gym was totally silent. Everything felt like it was in slow motion, I could see Coach running to us but I knew I could get to her faster seeing as though she was only 2 people over. I ran to her where there were already 3 people huddled around her. When I got there, they got out of my way. Jessa had fallen on her face, I crouched down next to her.

"Hey Jess c'mon get up, I swear anyone who laughs will get a personal roasting provided by yours truly." She still wouldn't move. By now coach had gotten to where we were he reached over and turned her over. Her eyes were closed. Abby who had appeared next to me let out a shriek. I covered my mouth in horror. "OMG IS SHE DEAD?!!" I said in utter horror. Coach gave me a dirty look and checked her pulse. By now a crowd of teachers lead by the principal had approached us.

"She's alive!" Coach yelled out raising a hand up as if in victory. The school cheered and the principal let out a sigh of relief. Everyone loved Jessa, even though she was the daughter of the principal and vice principal, she wasn't stuck up. She had a heart shaped face with the prettiest clear blue eyes and long blonde hair that reached the middle of her back. She was practically a toothpick, she had been on the same diet I was on but had been for much longer. She was perfect in almost every single way. She had the biggest thigh gap I've ever seen. She was everything I aspired to be.

Soon after an ambulance came and took Jessa away. The pep rally was very obviously, over. All the cheerleaders went back into the locker room to change out of our clothes. Everyone was talking about poor Jessa but I didn't want to. I just wanted to go home and sleep. Ever since I started this diet I've been feeling sleepier than ever. But before I went home I had to go talk To Ms. Simmons about that project. I changed and packed my things before leaving without being noticed. I really didn't want to talk because now everyone was saying that the reason Jessa had passed out was because of her bulimia. I obviously wasn't bulimic, I was anorexic, so I had nothing to worry about but I was still pretty sore about that topic.

I left the locker room wondering what in the world Ms. Simmons had in store for us, and hoping that I wouldn't have to work with Dean.