Mask for the day.

Author's note: There is a trigger warning with this story, some of stuff has happened to me and it can trigger some people if they are not prepared. There are scenes of bullying, rejection, nasty rumors and vague references to suicide/depression.

~Minor edit:Feb.26 2021~

Another day is about to begin. I rise before the sun to prepare myself for the day ahead, with ease I move out of bed and walk towards my vanity where I sit down in front of the mirror. Picking up the first make up brush, its handle smooth and familiar in my hands after all its the same every morning as I use these brushes to paint on my mask for the day.

'You're such an idiot' 'Hahaha no one loves you, no one cares'

No don't think about that, concentrate on the brush and its smooth, familiar movements. I've done this a hundred times, dip the tip in water first than gently dip it into the blue powder....

'Why did you want me....'

Then soft strokes across the eyelids. Blue for the tears left unshed... Ah i can feel them forming, like pinpricks on my eyes, as those memories try to break from their box... NO!!!.... Deep breaths now... Now clean the brush of all the blue.... My it truly looks like tears now... all watery and blue in my cup of water.

'Give me something, something to fight with, why did you throw in the towel?
I was unhappy, we weren't communicating, we weren't hanging out. I know myself enough to know that I'm happier alone.'

Next the red, for the blood I have shed and the pain I've hid. I paint my smile as false as a clown but people only see what they wish to see after all....and what they wish to see is a young lady with a pretty little smile.

'Whore' 'Slut' ' Did you know she's pregnant?' 'What? Really?'

Well shit I messed up, grab the cloth, a simple whip before it stains the skin and it's an empty canvas again. A slight curve and I have my smile. Clean the brush again.... Now for the black, for the empty space that had once been a lively heart but now has gone cold and dark.

'No one wants you, so why don't you just disappear.' 'You're such an attention seeker, you big baby.'

One swift smooth stroke and one eye is outlined, another follows leaving both eyes outlined. I can hear Rose calling, as I finally take a moment to notice the sun peeking through my closed curtains. I don't reply, my mask isn't complete and she must never know that it is all a mask, an act. I place my brush down after cleaning the black from it, Another finds it's way into my hands, a softer, wider brush. A light dusting of pink to give color and life to my cheeks when all life had drained from them, and with that last touch I stand placing the brush down next to my slender one. I leave them there, till the next morning, as I turn to leave my room and greet Rose with my false smile and cheerfulness.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I hope you enjoyed my little tale, ill be mostly posting tales like this as these are the tales i send on Gaia as gifts. I do have longer stories so ill try to get those up some time as well. Anyways feel free to comment, i would love to hear what people think of it. I know its a little dark amd such but parts of it are memories for me.