Six Degrees Of Separation

You've read the books, 
You've watched the shows, 
What's the best way no one knows, 
Meditate, get hypnotized. 
Anything to take from your mind. 
But it won't go 

They all said it would get better.

They said, give it time. They said, he was bad for you anyways.

But they're wrong.

It didn't get better. And he wasn't bad for me.

Because, what are you supposed to do, when you're only good for one person? What are you supposed to do, when your reason to live, your reason to be, leaves?

I don't know.

I don't know who to be, because I was only me when I was with him. I'm lost, floating around in a space that used to be him. I'm lost and I need people to help me, but they can't.

They just don't understand.

And I wonder, how can being seperated from one person be so bad? How can losing that person be so... lasting?

And I wonder, why can't they have lasted? Why is the hurt lasting and love isn't? Why do things like this happen?

Why do hearts break?

You're doing all these things out of desperation, 
You're going through six degrees of separation. 

I didn't want this.

I didn't want to fall in love. I didn't want to fall for him so hopelessly fast that I had no hope of catching myself. 

But I can't help but love that, because I loved him. I still love him. I think I always will. 

It's as if my heart was shattered. Broken when he left. Shattered when I asked him to stay and he said no.

There isn't any pain worse than this.

Except there is.

I just didn't know that, then.

You hit the drink, you take a toke. 
Watch the past go up in smoke. 
Fake a smile, yeah, lie and say that, 
I'm better now than ever, and your life's okay 
Well it's not. No 

"Harry! Are you alright?"

Liam's voice is concerned but at the same time disinterested. i smile at him brightly, and he doesn't notice the tremors in the corners of my mouth.

"Fine. Never been better."

But I have.

"That's great," he replies, but he's distracted now, uncaring. I mean, I love Liam but he doesn't get it, He still has Niall, he stlll has his eveyrthing, his reason to be.

I don't.

I lost him. I lost him I lost him I lost him. And I tell everyone I'm okay when I'm not. I haven't been since he left me.

Once, just once, I want to spin around and say the truth, to stop lying.

No, I'm not okay.

You're doing all these things out of desperation, 
You're going through six degrees of separation

And maybe I would. Tell the truth, I mean. Maybe I would.

But telling someone the truth makes me admit it to myself.

 I'm desperate, I need to be okay. Because if I'm not, I'm scared what would happen to me. What I would become. I'm already broken, I'm already a shell.